Here Then Gone
by Shinigami no Kamikaze
Summary: Heero, confused by feelings he did not grow up with, and feeling worthless, decides on suicide. Will he succeed? shounen-ai, cussing, angst and... yea... completed work, just so you know.
1. Here Then Gone part 1

Chibi Kilik: Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of morality!  
  
Shinigami no Kamikaze: Thankees, Kilik-chan (he's assisting me today)!! This fic was written 'cause I need to freaking post something! I've got the starts of about five fics, and I'm stuck in every one! So, I don't care how much this one sucks, it's gettin' tossed out there.  
  
Chibi Kilik: A friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, angst-ish, and cussing.  
  
*Chibi Hwoarang pokes his head around a corner* You're such a puppet, Kilik!  
  
SnK: *grabs Chibi Kilik by his collar before he can go tear out Hwoarang's voice box* Well... hope you enjoy...  
  
  
  
  
Here Then Gone Part 1  
by Shinigami no kamikaze  
  
  
  
It was so easy to go around in a half-drugged daze. To use kill time by using the pills to send him into dreamless sleep. There wasn't a need for him anymore. Not a single soul needed him.  
  
He did it so he couldn't feel. He was trained not to feel, but the people whom he'd fought with and met during the war, coaxed those feelings out of him. The incorrigable personality of Duo Maxwell was often the leading cause of the outbreak of emotion. Emotions to which he was so unfamiliar with...  
  
They used to be... pleasant. He didn't undersatdn them, but they were pleasant. Each time the American's smiled, it sent an enjoyable, indescribable trill down his spine, especially if that smile was directed at him. He never let Duo know it. He'd been trained to disguse any weakness, and confusion was definately a weakness. He still wasn't sure why it happened.  
  
But when he'd left the other Gundam pilots to find themselves a niche in society, his newly revived emotions had begun to ache. They knawed at him, and he couldn't make them stop. It wasn't like disease.. he would have a better idea of what to do if it were that simple. It was just an empty feeling.  
  
Not knowing what he should do for a living, Heero'd simply rented out this apartment and lived leeching money from places that could afford it to support him. There was nothing for him to do. He'd always had a mission, but now that it was over... the was no one to tell him what to do. No one to give him direction, to fill that newly formed nagging hole in him that desperately wanted to be filled.  
  
But seditives and painkillers could help make it better. They were temporary fixes to a swiftly worsening problem. Some relief was better than no relief.  
  
Then it finally came to him. A permenant solution to his dilemma. He'd always been ready to die before, why not now? The peace that had settled over Earth and space was stable enough to survive on it's own. If not, Wufei and the Preventers were skilled enough to keep things together. There really was no need for him to suffer anymore.  
  
Heero picked up the bottle of sleeping pills. They were within easy reach. It wasn't like anyone would find him soon enough to save him, so, there was no need to use his gun. Without further thought, he twisted off and threw aside the cap, emptying the contents of the bottle into his mouth. Then he closed his eyes and began to sink into oblivion.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Heero...?"  
  
Duo had decided to drop in on him, simply because Heero hadn't bothered to contact anyone for a month. Duo had started to look for him immediatly, knowing it would take a few more months (with luck..) to actually find Heero. Heero didn't make it impossible for other people to find him (Duo bet he could, though), just extremely difficult so that people who only wanted to met (or , possibly, kill) '01' couldn' find him, but fellow ex-gundam pilots could.   
  
Duo liked dropping in on his friends now and again. He especially enjoyed visiting Heero, even though Heero basically ignored him for the entire time. Not that it matter to Duo all that much (although, to say it didn't hurt him in the least would be a lie.. and Duo Maxwell never lies), as long as he got to be around Heero. Maybe it was relaxing for him to be around Heero. Maybe it was just the challenge of trying to figure out what went behind that blank stare (because Duo knew there was someone back there, not just programming implanted by Dr. J). Whatever it was, he hadn't seen Heero in awhile, and he needed a 'fix'.  
  
Being impatient, and figuring Heero would understand, when the teen hadn't answered the door, Duo picked the lock. If Heero really didn't want Duo in his house, then he should have gotten a better lock. Duo had peered inside, and, seeing no one, declared himself incase Yuy was just hiding somewhere ready to shot the intruder.  
  
"Heero!" he called again as he entered the apartment and started looking around, making sure the other pilot wasn't just igoring him as he always did, or was too busy doing something else to notice, or whatever the case might have been. Still no answer. Duo silently ventured further into the apartment, and his eyes fell upon a door slightly ajar. He swung it open, and discovered a vaccum cleaner. Sighing, he closed the door the the closet and pivoted on his right foot, eyes scanning the area for another door. When he saw it, he dashed over to it, quite eager to see Heero. Duo wasn't very patient, so he flung the door open without further thought.  
  
Duo blinked. Heero definately there.... but something wasn't right. His brain took an eternity to piece together things logically. Heero, skin pale, body unmoving.... A bottle.. clear.. orange... the type perscription drugs came in. Empty.  
  
"Heero!!" In an instant, Duo was at Heero's side, one hand scooping up the discarded bottle, other darting out to find Heero's pulse... if he had one. One glance at the label of the bottle and his suspicions were confirmed. Powerful sedatives.. taking three of the pills could be risky... and Duo was certain that there'd been a hellvalot more than that when Heero downed 'em all... Unless someone else purposely was trying to make it look like suicide (for whatever reason)... but considering Heero's other attempts, it seemed more likely he'd done it to himself.  
  
'Why, Heero? It's over... we made it... why now?' Duo fought panic. He still hadn't felt a pulse. Screaming for help at the top of lungs, he hoped someone, anyone might hear him. Then he began CPR.  
  
Duo was still fighting the panic building up in him. 'Shit, shit, shit.... is it 15 compressions to 2 breaths...? shit...' He searched for the right place on Heero's chest, then interlocked his fingers and put the heel of his hand there. Then he locked his elbows and used his weight to press against Heero's chest, so he wouldn't tire out quickly. Then he began to count aloud. It helped to chase away other thoughts, and to keep his rhythm... anyway, it was the way you were supposed to do it.  
  
He heard noises upstairs. After he'd given Heero two breaths, and was checking his pulse again, someone came into the room.  
  
"Oh my God..." It was a young woman, supposedly the neighbor from upstairs. Fortuantly, she wasn't brain dead, "I'll call an ambulance!," she followed her previous statement up with before Duo had to order her to.  
  
Duo didn't know how long it took the EMs to get there. He just felt one of them pull him off, and they began to take over. The young woman... who appearently hadn't left the entire time... came over to him. They never exchanged words, they never shared more then the briefest glance, but the presense of the other comforted each in a small way.  
  
Then there was a beep on the heart monitor. An eternity passed, but then there was another. The EMs wasted no time in getting Heero out of the apartment. A couple of the paramedics stayed behind, and one approched them. He asked questions, but Duo was way too out of it to make any of them out, much less answer them. That's when the other paramedic, the one with red hair, lead him away.  
  
She began to examine him, and normaly he would have done his best not to cooperate. This time he just stared, thoughts racing through his head. Moslty he wondered why... why would Heero do it? Heero might be suicidal, but there always was a reason... what could have driven him to it?  
  
What happened after that was a blur. A blanket was wrapped around him, and he went to lay down on the couch... that much he could surmise when he woke up the next morning. He was alone, in a strange apar--... then what had happened last night hit Duo. He jumped from the couch, paniced again, not noticing the aches in his body from sleeping on the less-then-ideal sofa.  
  
He had to find out what happened to Heero, and where he was.  
  
Simple as that. But first he need to know where to go.... that's when he noticed a piece of paper on the coffee table. It read "Dist. 9 Hospital, on 1st and 3rd, 1900". Duo recalled the girl last night, and guessed either she or a paramedic had left it for him. He grabbed the slip and ran out to his car.  
  
  
  
~~~end  
  
SnK: *Chibi Kilik finally appears calm, so she lets him down.. big mistake, since he imediatley grabs for a broom, breaks off the sweeping part of it, and runs at Hwoarang with the handle. SnK just sighs and tries to ignore them* Pretty boring, huh? I'd develop more of a plot, but I'm too tired and I've got too much to do..... Well, I'll try to make it better. I dunno how successful I'll be..  
  
*theres a large crash in the background, and Chibi Hwoarang can be heard saying "You broke the bookcase! You broke the bookcase! You broke the bo-- Agh!!!" he dodges the flying dictonary and runs outta the room , Chibi Kilik not far behind, broom handle still in hand*  
  
SnK: *continues to ignore them.. it was for the best* Reviews are greatly appreciated. If people encourage me, the more incentive I have to write, and then you'll defenitely get another part....   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Here Then Gone part 2

Shingami no Kamikaze: *is in shock because people acutally wanted another part of this fic*  
  
Chibi Kilik: Shinigami no kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of morality...  
...  
.. the fic, 'kaze-chan?  
...  
'KAZE!!!!!!  
  
SnK: *shakes head* yea...? fic... *blinks* fic? ...I'm writing a fic?  
  
Chibi Hwoarang: *looks annoyed* That's what you said you were going to do when you turned off the Playstation and dragged me out here.  
  
SnK: oh yea, huh? Well, then, that's what I'm going to do.  
  
Chibi Hwoarang: *sarcastically* Hooray.  
  
SnK: *glares at him*  
  
Chibi Kilik: *takes advantage of the silence* A friendly reminder, this fic contains: shounen-ai (there's a sentence that might be considered more yaoi... but whatever. SnK don't really think so), angst, and ... I think that's it.  
  
  
  
  
Here Then Gone part 2  
by Shinigami no kamikaze  
  
  
Duo had nearly killed himself twice as he recklessly drove to the District 9 Hospital where Heero, presumably, was being treated... if he was even still alive. The only thing that kept him from getting into an accident was he reflexes he'd developed during the war. Once he'd gotten there and parked (he had thought momentarily about just ditching his car... but quickly dismissed it, deciding that was pretty stupid and pointless), he sprinted straight to the receptionist's desk, ignoring the line of people, demanding to know about Heero. They told him if he didn't calm down, security would remove him. So, reluctantly, he took his place in the line, and everyone waiting gave him dirty looks. So he made a nasty face at them, and they turned around, mumbling to themselves while he fumed. He was restless, and needed to do -something-. Luckly, he did not have to wait long, or else security definately would have had to come to control him.  
  
He did not like the look in the doctor's eyes when he approched with Duo. The first words out of his mouth were, "The situation does not look good." Of course, he followed that up with things 'there's hope' ect. ect. before he even told Duo the problem. Duo was becoming extremely impatient with it all. Finally the dotcor spat out what the 'situation' really was.  
  
Heero was on life support, in a coma. When he had quit breathing, in a matter of minutes, brain cells had started to die. They still did not know the extent of the damage. It was quite possible Heero could make full recovery.... or Heero might never wake up, his body never starting to breathe on it's own again.... or Heero could wake up a vegtable. They didn't know enough to tell.  
  
The doctor let Duo into Heero's room, and left him alone there, telling him that talking to Heero might help... that he might be able to hear. They didn't know one way or another. It seemed to Duo they didn't know alot... Was this all medical science had to offer?  
  
"Heero.. they said talkin' to ya might help, an' you know me, I'm always up for talking, so it's the least I can do." Duo's false cheer immediatly began to melt away... "It's all that I can do...." Duo was quiet for a few moments, the sight of Heero in the hospital bed like that finally sinking in.   
  
The tubes and wire-things stuck in him, were taped to him. The ventilator forcing air in and out of his lungs, his skin as pale as the sheets. The tube from the ventilator that was stuck down Heero's throat ruined the illusion that Heero was just 'sleeping'. It might have been easier to talk had it not been there. Also, the noise.. the heart monitor, the pumping of the air... he shook his head. He was supposed to be talking, no staring at this completely helpless teenager in the bed next to him.  
  
"I've really gotta have a talk with you when you're up to answering me, 'n' all. But for now, Hee-man, it's just me.... huh... Hee-man. You know that over 200 years ago there was a cartoon called He-man... maybe a comic, too. Don't ask me how I know. I just find these weird, stupid bits of trivia... and I remember 'em for some reason. Speaking of comic books, I just read this manga called..."  
  
And so Duo talked. He made a mindless, one-sided conversation that lasted for hours. Well, his talent for that was coming in handy. It was like the old times, almost.... he spoke, Heero did nothing.... except the whole hospital-setting and medical junk. Also, the terrible absence of Heero's presense... it was like he wasn't there. Even when Heero ignored him, Duo always knew he was -there-, and that counted for something. This was worse than talking to a wall. So, he drifted into actual, meaningful, speech.  
  
"Heero, this is -not- cool. If you give up on me now, I'll never forgive you... maybe that's selfish, but I won't. If you could control that damned schizoid system, you can fight through this. So don't you dare give up on life.... you know you're going to drive Quatre on a total guilt trip if you do. You probably are going to give him a heart attack, or he'll have a nervous breakdown when he's 23 because of you. And it's not just him... I mean... I," Duo hesitated. The longer he saw Heero comatose, the more it was tore him up... Heero was his best friend, but... Duo cleared his mind again. Was now really the time to reevaluate his feelings for Heero?   
  
Duo was becoming confused. Were his feelings that of friend/friend, brother/brother (he highly doubted that).... or lover/lover? Was the crisis just screwing him up? When he thought of Heero dying, he felt so hollow... but wouldn't he feel the same about other people... like Wufei... or Hilde? Was his judgement clouded by the emergency, or for the first time becoming clearer to him? He just didn't know. Anyway, this was Heero he was thinking about. There was no chance of him getting those feelings returned.... Of course, this could be the last time he could tell Heero while he was still living.. and in his condition he couldn't punch Duo or anything... he might not even ever know. But could Duo take it if he died, if he'd decided he was in love with Heero Yuy? Duo sighed inwardly.. he was getting ahead of himself.. he still wasn't even sure -what- it was he felt.  
  
"... I don't know what I'd do. But Heero, you'd hurt so many people if you were to die now, like this. You can't let it happen, you can't. The oth--"  
  
Just then a nurse came in. She had to change the sheets. Duo lingered, but forced himself up to leave. He had to tell someone... so he went to search for a payphone or something.  
  
***  
  
The phone rang, interrupting before he could get far into his meditation. Annoyed, he got up and answered the phone on it's fourth ring. Then he met Duo's eyes on the video looking surprizingly sorrowful. His own countenance became one of worry once he saw Duo's. "What's wrong, Maxwell?"  
  
"Probably won't be home longer than I expected, so don't expect me anytime soon..." Wufei and Duo had become roommates, since Wufei worked for the Preventer office stationed in Duo's home colony. No relation beyond friendship had really been formed, much to Wufei's disappointment. The braided teen didn't know it, but Wufei had requested to be stationed at the L2 branch.  
  
Wufei knew exactly he started to fall for the pilot of the now-destroyed Deathscythe, and he'd known his feelings for awhile now. It had definatley been after he destoryed his Gundam... after he forced himself to let go of that and everything attached with it, there was this void left in him. He tried to busy himself in his work, to see if it would fill him, but his job with the Preventers couldn't make things better. Then Duo made one of his sporadic visits and the void was gone. No... it was more than that.. he started to feel more alive then than ever in his life. When Duo had left, it felt like the American had taken a piece of Wufei with him.... that the boy was what Wufei needed to complete his life.  
  
When Wufei first roomed with Duo, he'd ment to do it simply to see exactly where Duo's preference's lay, and if he was involved with someone. He'd accomplished nothing but torturing himself, the object of his desire dangling right in front of him. Hell, his desire had probably increased in size ten times since he'd started this. So, basically, the "observe Duo to see if it's okay to proceed" plan failed misrabley.  
  
Then he'd tried subtly to make advances on Duo, to at least let him know about his feelings and intentions. But subtly was something forgein to Duo's way of thinking, therefore he was quite immune to it. Wufei still couldn't gather up the courage to tell Duo straightout, something he chasited himself for everyday...  
  
Wufei was afraid Duo would throw him out, would want to have nothing to do with him. He knew that was stupid, since he wouldn't love Duo if Duo was like that, but still.. the thought was in the back of his mind whenever he opened his mouth to tell Duo. The he'd get lost in those violet eyes, and all sense and logic would be scattered. He wanted nothing less than to see anything impure like disgust in those eyes, so he always found something else to say... The only good that had come out of his staying with Duo was a closer friendship, which he cherished more than anything... at least it was something... hopefully, a start...  
  
So he was trapped of his own personal hell, of his own making. His years and years of self-discipline keeping him from doing anything rash when Duo came running out of the shower, only a towel wrapped loosely around his waist (which he'd done a few times for different reasons...). But each night, as he went to sleep, he'd face the wall that was between him and Duo's bedroom, wishing he could be there, sharing that bed.... and not only for pleasure, but for warmth, comfort, security, understanding... and all those other things his life lacked but Duo provided. Wufei wanted to be with him, he wanted to have him in his arms, and at times, be held by him....   
  
But all that didn't matter right now.. not when Duo was upset. Duo continued to speak after Wufei nodded in acknowlegement.  
  
".. Heero tried to kill himself, he's in a coma. We're on colony X018802, District 9 Hospital. Got it? Please tell everyone who should know." Duo treated Wufei with a smile.. a small, sad smile... but a smile none the less. "Thanks, Buddy." Then the transmission ended. Wufei took it all down on a piece of paper, and went to go fetch the numbers of the other pilots, and Relena (though he never had much fondess for that particular onna, Heero seemed to). That's when he was able to think about it, about Heero Yuy trying yet again to end his life, ending up in a coma... Duo didn't even mention how that happened. First he felt a wave of alarm and distress.... then..  
  
Then a pang of jealously. It was a horrible little emotion, but it was there. Duo and Heero had seemed to formed an instant rapport, even there was no logical explaination for them to do so. Yuy.. who might have been a good warrior and was (usually) sound of mind... but who was serverly lacking in the ability to express emotion, if he truely had any.. and Duo, the cheery, excitiable, fickle Deathscythe pilot. He never understood how someone as outgoing as Duo could so instantly for an attachment to Yuy. Wufei had to work for months to get near to that type of relationship with Duo...  
  
Well, at least Heero didn't seem interested in Duo... he didn't seem interested in anyone. Knowing that, he was able to squelsh the little twinge of jealousy, and concentrate more on his task, and worry about a former comrade in arms....  
  
~~~end  
  
SnK: Better quit for now, I've got a couple of tests tomarrow.. not to mention the essay I have to type, and that other project-dealie, for English.....  
Chibi Hwoarang: Heh... you're screwed.  
  
SnK: Shut up. About the 5x2 I added... 5x2 is cool! I had to do do it... since I've got this poster of Wufei that my eyes kept wandering to (up there 'cause I like Wufei, but no one else in my area seems to, so his were the only GW posters left *sniff* poor Wu-chan)... and it told me "Damn it, put me in the fic, onna! .. you know you like 5x2.... 5x2! 5x2!" and I'm like , "Noo.... no more soap oprea plots then I already plan on!! And I like 1x2, too, so there!" but it kept chanting "5x2, 5x2, 5x2" and I evetually gave in.....   
  
*Chibi Hwoarang and ChibiKilik stare at her*  
SnK:What...?  
Chibi Hwoarang:Are you on something?  
SnK: No!!  
Chibi Kilik: Are you fevered..?  
SnK: Argghh, not you, too! ...you're supposed to be supportive! You're my assistant!!!   
*Chibi Kilik and Hwoarang just slowly start to back away, then turn around and run for their lives*  
SnK: *looks confused* What's with them...  
  
Anyway, hope you aren't totally disgusted with the fic now. 'Cause if everyone is, there isn't much point in continuing. Please review! Pleeeeaaasssee!!! I beg of you!  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Here Then Gone part 3

Chibi Kilik: Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of morality.  
SnK: *waves to everyone* Sorry to anyone out there following this fic. My weekend was busier than any of the previous weekdays, so I wasn't able to get this part out when I ment to. Even now I should be doing something else, but oh well!  
Chibi Hwoarang: You're such a dedicated student..  
SnK: It's the school's fault for having us go 'til the 22nd... hey, after the 22nd, I might actually have time to finish this fic up (if it isn't done by then.. I'm not sure myself how far this might stretch)  
Chibi Hwoarang: You're appearently a dedicated writer, too.  
SnK: Silence, you!!  
Chibi Kilik: A friendly reminder, the fic contians shounen ai, some cussing, and angst. You also might want to watch out if you're a super-senstive Relena fan.  
  
Here Then Gone part 3  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze  
  
  
Exactly two weeks had passed since the rest of the former gundam pilots had come to the hospital. Relena wasn't there since she was involved in negotiations she couldn't possibly weasel her way out of. Duo was happy for that small blessing. He was completely exhasted and stressed, and he doubted he could have kept himself from snapping and, at the best, screaming his lungs at her. At the worst...  
  
He didn't exactly hate Relena. She was alright... until she started talking about Heero. She was clearly obsessed with him, but for all the wrong reasons. Relena spoke of them as if they were two halves of the same soul. If there was even a grain of truth to that, then why was it she actually knew jack shit about Heero? She did not understand him at all... she was just a spoiled brat who claimed anything bright and shiny in her path as 'hers'. ... Of course, "bright and shiny" probably wasn't a way most people would describe Heero... but that hardly mattered to Duo. Especially not at the moment.  
  
The good news was Heero had made some improvement. Although it had given Duo a mini-heart attack at the time, Heero's body started to fight the respirator (which had made his body convulse, the reason for Duo's panic). Now he was breathing on his own, and was that much closer to waking up even though... even though there were still plenty of dangers.  
  
Wufei looked in worriedly at Duo. None of the ex-gundam pilots had strayed far from hospital (mostly only to a hotel where they crashed)... but Duo rarely got up from his position by Heero's bed. Quatre had taken to bringing Duo things to eat, since the one time that Duo had gone in search of food, he only went to the closest vending machine (filled only with candy bars and chips). Then he hadn't bothered to eat what he'd bought. Duo was wearing himself out with his endless watch over Heero, and it was beginning to show. There were dark circles around his red eyes, his braid was falling apart, and his skin was pale.  
  
"Why don't you get some sleep in a real bed?" Wufei kept his tone neutral, straining his anxeity over Duo's health out of his voice.  
  
Duo looked up at him, and gave a small smile. Through it all, Duo was still pretty much himself... Wufei wasn't sure if he should be extremly grateful or increasingly worried about that. This whole situation was a strain on them all.... and Duo's optimisim could just be his way of coping, or it could be him hiding his feelings, which wasn't healthy at all. While Duo seemed naturally inclined to cheerfulness, Wufei didn't think he would be smiling with his best friend in a coma beside him. "Where's the fun in that? .. no thanks, Wu-man, I'll just stay right here."  
  
Duo watched his friend sigh, and look at him somberly, then shift his gaze to Heero. "You're not doing him any good by allowing yourself to waste away by his side. Is seriously doubt Yuy would want you to."  
  
"I don't think he would have wanted me to try to save him, either. Let's just say Heero ain't always right." There was a pause, then Wufei saw resolve enter Duo's eyes, as he looked up at him in complete earnestly. "I'm going to be here when he wakes up."  
  
Wufei was taken surprize by Duo's deadly serious tone. He was caught off guard, and soon found himself mumbling, "Fine. Just don't neglect yourself to the point of harming yourself.." He hadn't ment to. He'd ment to lay down the law with Duo, and drag him forcibly from the room to rest, if necessary. Wufei sadly left the room, although he let none of his dismal mood leak into his posture or expression... Tomarrow. he'd come back and try again tomarrow.  
  
As Wufei left, Duo's eyes inevitably returned to the comatose teen in the bed beside him. 'Damn you, Heero. Why did you do this to everyone? Why didn't you come to any one of us...? ... Why... why didn't you come to me.....?'  
  
Duo had been doing alot of thinking while he was alone in the room. He knew he cared deeply for Heero, but wasn't sure in what kind of way. He'd come to no conclusions as of yet. He thought up many questions, and if he ever managed to answer one, the answer led to five more questions. All questions he could only answer if Heero woke up.. if Heero would come back to them... to him.  
  
Quatre entered the room. While Duo by far spent the most time here, Quatre was second. This time he didn't bring anything to eat. Duo was grateful... he didn't think he could force anything down at the moment.   
  
"Is it just me, or does he have more color to him?"  
  
Duo blinked, and scruitinzed Heero, hope stirring within him. Quatre was right.. definately better color to him. There definately was color, as opposed to his looking as white as the sheets he was wrapped in. "Yes. Yes, he does."  
  
Then they saw it-- an eyelid twitch. Duo jumped up immediately from his seat, and Quatre walked over to the bed. Heero's eyelids again moved, body stirring a bit, and Duo dashed up right beside him. Then Heero's eyes opened. Duo, for once, did not know what to say... Quatre appearently didn't either, and they sat in silence for a few moments.  
  
"What happened?" Heero's question took both Quatre and Duo by surprize.. The doctors had warned them that Heero might have suffered brain damage. Was that the reason Heero didn't know what occured... what he did?  
  
"Well, you just scared the living shit outta us!"  
  
Heero looked over at the boy with the sparking violet eyes and long, braided shimmering chestnut colored hair... which was a complete mess... who'd just spoken. He noted the signs of exhaustion.. bags under bloodshot eyes, posture. No detail escaped him. Heero found himself a little anxious about the other's health, but there was no logical reason for it, considering...  
  
"Quatre, who is this?"  
  
Duo felt cold, as cold as they way Heero had said those four words. No way... there was no way this was happening, no way Heero was serious. He kept his 'cheerful' look up, for now. "That's all just joke, right...? I know how warped your sense of humor is, Heero."  
  
Heero's glare met Duo's eyes, and he felt like those Prussian eyes were pierceing into his soul, examining it from the inside out. Heero had never looked at him like that.. not once. There was no feeling behind those eyes, nothing but emptiness. Was this the look that frightened everyone else away from Heero? He could understand why.. Duo was about ready to piss in his pants.  
  
Something in Heero's mind told him, 'Don't get close to this guy... stay away from him... he's been the cause of pain.' He said, his voice icy, "I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know -you-. Quatre, can you remove him from my room and tell me what's going on?"  
  
Now Duo's face became that of utter shock. It felt like something inside of him was ripped apart. Oh God, and did it hurt... A shiver went down his spine, and Quatre looked over at him, sympathy and sorrow in his eyes. "Duo... just for now.. it'd be best... please..."   
  
Questions raced through Duo's mind, radically different from the one's he'd been thinking of earlier. Only him? Did Heero only forget him? Why was that, for what reason...? Why did he treat him so harshly...?  
  
With all his self control, Duo forced another smile, "Don't think you can get rid of me so easily, Heero-man." The he removed himself carefully, one foot in front of the other, from the hospital room. Once he got out of the room, he started to run, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. But he refused to let them.. he wouldn't let them. This could still be something only temporary... tears wouldn't help that. Tears wouldn't help with anything...  
  
Well, they might help release some of the terrible pain inside him. But he was stronger than that. He needed to be strong... he hated to show weakness to anyone (almost anyone, at least). Anyway, Wufei'd probably think he was a weak onna for crying over something like this... he was already doing the cowardly thing of running.. and he didn't even know where he was running to....   
  
~~~End  
  
SnK: Sorry 'bout the shortness (and is it a kinda mean place to leave you guys..?) , but I wanted to get this part out. And I got to finish up a bunch of work that I've left undone.  
Chibi Hwoarang: You're going to do it in Math and during lunch, aren't ya?  
SnK: Isn't that what they're there for?  
Chibi Hwoarang: Idiot, you just don't do it.   
Chibi Kilik: *sighs and shakes his head at the two*  
SnK: *ignores ChibiKilik* Anyway, I'm not sure when the next part will be out. Hopefully before the weekend. 'Cause Sat-Mon, I'm busy as hell. And a few days after Monday, I doubt I'll feel like doin' much.... but, please review! Please...?  
  
  



	4. Here Then Gone part 4

SnK: I LIVE!!!!  
Kilik: *sighs* Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing, a sense of morality, humility, or common sense.  
SnK: Hey!!!  
Hwoarang: He's right, you know it. In fact, he was being quite generous....  
SnK: Do you really want to anger someone with god-powers?  
Hwoarang: oooOOOOooo ...scary.  
*Shinigami no Kamikaze narrows her eyes, then Hwoarang turns into the pink bunny that you got truned into in Zelda:LTP if you went into the darkworld without the moonpearl (?), Kilik slowly starts to back away as SnK fixed her glare on him. Hwoarang makes paniced bunny-nosies*  
SnK: Anyway... I'm really sorry anyone following the series! But, I got overloaded the last week before school (it's probably my own fault.. but why all the tests on the 22nd?), then I was extremly busy thru Monday, then it took Tues to now to recover (actually, I strated this on Thrus.). I might have even put it off longer if I had had fewer reviews... you people who review are the best! Anyway, without futher ado...  
Kilik: ... *gets glared at by SnK*...uhh.... oh y-yea! A friendly reminder, this fic contains angst, and shounen ai.  
*SnK grins sweetly at him, and he heaves a sigh of relief*  
  
  
Here Then Gone part 4  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze  
  
  
Quatre listened helplessly as he heard Duo start running once the boy had left the room. He knew Duo's emotions for Heero were strong... they had to be for him to force himself through that near 24-hour watch of Heero during his coma. But who needed more help at this moment... Duo, or Heero? While Quatre tried to think of what to do, there was a long silence finally interruped by Heero's question.  
  
"Quatre... what happened.. exactly?"  
  
The blonde sighed as he was snapped back into reality. While he'd taken all of an eternity to think, Duo'd probably made himself long gone... hopefully, if he hadn't already, he'd return to the hotel.... He smiles politely at Heero ,"I will be happy to explain everything to you. But first, I have to send someone out to look for Duo. Excuse me." Then Quatre opened the door and stopped. There was Trowa, standing right there. "What are you doing outside the door?"  
  
"I was about to open it, when you did."  
  
"Oh." Quatre stepped aside, to allow Trowa to see Heero. Trowa's visible eyebrow raised in surprized, but there wasn't much else in a reaction from either of them, until Heero said Trowa's name as a form of greeting... actually, it was more of an acknowlegement of Trowa's presence than a greeting. But that's the way Heero Yuy was.  
  
"Something wrong, Quatre?" Trowa had a good sense of when the Arabian was being troubled by something. Right now, the blonde seemed to be giving off that concerned and worried 'aura', even if Trowa was the only one who could tell.  
  
Quatre nodded slightly. "Can we step outside for a moment?" Trowa nodded in return, and the two exited. Then Quatre spoke softly, so Heero could not hear through the door, "Trowa, can you do me a favor?" Once again, Trowa nodded, and Quatre continues, "Please, find Duo, and make sure he doesn't do anything rash. Heero can't remember him at all... and he treated Duo rather coldy... then Duo took off running. I'm--"  
  
"Worried about him? I am, too." Duo was influenced alot by his feelings, and didn't always think things through. Though to say he was controlled by his emotions and had no foresight was completely false, but the situation might lead him to do something stupid. Possibly as extreme as Heero had done, though Trowa doubted it. "Don't worry, I'll do what I can." Quatre rewarded Trowa with a smile, although it was a sad one. Then he entered the room again to answer all of Heero's questions. Trowa left to find Duo.  
  
---  
  
After a few hours of searching, Trowa found Duo at a computer in a library. Walking stealthy up to him, Trowa noticed that the screen was filled up with information conserning amnesia. Trowa cleared his troat, and Duo quickly hid all the windows he was using on the computer and whipped around, smile fixed into place.  
  
"Hey, Trowa! Hear the good news..?"  
  
Had Trowa not already known about what had happened, he would have believed that nothing was wrong with Duo. He would have thought Duo was elated, as he appeared to be. He couldn't read Duo like he could Quatre, although he knew Heero had seen through Duo's acting more than once. But, knowing what he did know... "And the bad." Duo looked at him, eyes saying 'What bad news..?', and one glance from Trowa stated clearly that he was talking about Heero's selective memory loss.  
  
Duo made a face, then shrugged it off, and grinned. "Ahh.. well.. at least now he can't bring up the fact that I might've shot him once or twice, now, can he...?"  
  
"Duo..." Trowa said flatly. He knew Duo was hurting inside, he had to be. "We have to talk."  
  
Duo sighed... Trowa wasn't going to let him off the hook... he never really thought he would. For once Duo didn't feel like talking... the only person he wanted to talk to, whom he'd wanted to talk to for weeks, had just ordered him away, rejected him. Duo was hyper sensitive to rejection and abandonment because of his past, and he was aware of it... but just because he knew about it didn't make him feel any better. He knew this kind of pain well, but he hadn't felt it at this intensity for awhile... and it wasn't even as if Heero died... just another thing to confuse Duo even further.  
  
Trowa took Duo's sigh as a sign of surrender, "Come on, let's go back to your room at the hotel." Duo stood up, and Trowa lead the way back, checking to make sure Duo was following now and then.  
  
---  
  
Duo lay on his side, staring at the ugly wallpaper of his room. It was beige, with some repeating gnarled pattern done in a deep brown. He tried to not think about his pain while tracing the awful pattern up and down the wall, as it went in columns. It wasn't working.  
  
Trowa had left earlier. Once he was satisfied that Duo wasn't going to try to run away from the whole situation and disappear, or try to kill himself, he'd left the room to make a call to the hospital. He was going to see about arranging an appointment for Duo and Heero to get reaquinted with eachother, and to find out how much Heero had forgotten.  
  
Suicide had never entered Duo's mind. Heero could still regain his complete memory... and then where would he be? Even a partial memory comeback wold make Duo happy... he just wanted Heero to stop treating him like some stranger, like someone he didn't know... to stop looking at him like -that-. Everytime that memory entered Duo's head, it sent a shiver down his spine..  
  
That was another thing. Duo felt so cold. He had since Heero had asked who he was. It hadn't gone away. The blankets were all wrapped around Duo, but it did nothing to take the chill away.   
  
At the moment, it seemed, that all he could do was suffer.  
  
---  
  
Wufei again knocked at Duo's door, and there was still no responce... he was getting worried. Nothing had happened to Duo, had it..?  
  
'Well, no, nothing but he found out that his best friend who he's just kept from killing himself who woke up from being in a coma for a couple of weeks yesterday doesn't remember him at all...'  
  
Wufei was relieved that Heero was still alive. And though he tried to deny it, he was also a tiny bit pleased with his current memory loss. He was not pleased at all, though, with it's effect on Duo. For that alone, did he hope that Heero would recover, and soon.  
  
Wufei knocked again at the door. Maybe he was just sleeping... but Wufei wouldn't take the chance that it was anything else.  
  
"Duo! You don't have to open the door! Just let me know you're okay back there!"   
  
Wufei heard a little snicker from the otherside of the thin hotel door. "Okay...? I wouldn't say that, Wu-man, but I'm still kickin' back here.. dat good enough for ya..?"   
  
Wufei didn't think Duo sounded quite right... he came to realize it was because Duo's speech was slightly slurred.. Then it clicked in his mind... that damn liquor cabinet!  
  
In all the time he'd been Duo's roommate, Duo had hardly ever touched alcohol. The one occation Wufei saw him drink a single glass of champaigne was on New Year's. "Duo, how much have you had to drink...?"  
  
"Not enough!"  
  
Wufei sighed... this was pointless. He had already told Duo he didn't have to open the door (now he wished he hadn't) and he wouldn't go back on that. But if Duo was inexperienced with alcohol, then he didn't want him experimenting back there in the state he was undoubtly in. So he had to figure out a way to make him stop on his own "Duo... if you meet Heero with a hang-over, I don't think it will make a good impression."  
  
"He already hates me!" Duo had found out that he was apparently the only thing Heero seemed to have forgotten out of his entire life. Him, and anything relating to him. Whenever there was an event where he interacted with Heero, there was this gap in Heero's memory. He'd even remember fragments of conversations that Duo was in... just eveything that did not involve him.  
  
"Duo... he doesn't hate you.. he just--"  
  
"Doesn't know me, right? hah! ... Just go away, Wufei." The earlier amusment Wufei had detected was gone from Duo's voice. Wufei shook his head, but there was nothing more he could say. He knew this wasn't Yuy's fault.. but.. if he was angry with what this situation was doing to Duo before, now he was completely enraged.  
  
---  
  
It had been two days since Heero had woken up, and this was the first time Duo had been back in the hospital since then. He was nervous.. he was even kinda queasy. He poked his head into the room, where Heero and Quatre were waiting for him. Quatre would be playing mediator this time around.  
  
Duo smiled. Quatre noticed how much better he looked than from when he'd been letting himself wither away by Heero's side. That had been the last time he'd seen Duo, since the boy had shut himself up into his room until this meeting. Quatre had been worried about Duo, but it appeared Duo was in better health than before... at least physically.  
  
"Hey, Heero!" Duo said cheerily. He saw Heero's cold eyes soften and he was hopeful.. but that hope was crushed as Heero's eyes narrowed and he replied with a 'Hn.' He didn't even bother to use Duo's name... but Duo did not allow his disappointment to reach his expression.  
  
"Oh, please don't start that 'hn.' thing again with me Heero... There was that one day where, literally, that was all you said to me. We had a mission together, and eveything. It was to destroy an OZ supply line in Southern Europe... letssee... eariler that day there was this girl who got startled when you looked her right in the eyes, and she dropped all her books, and then you walked on by without even giving her a second glance. Then I said somethin' like, "It's things like that that make you conspicuous", and you said "hn.".. remember anything about that..?"  
  
"I remember the mission. I remember the girl. I do not remember saying anything to you, because I do not remember you." Heero spoke with the same icy edge to his voice as before. A look of hurt crossed Duo's face for a fraction of a second. Heero caught it, and something tugged at his heart.. it was a strange feeling, one he remembered vaugely. Some voice inside him warned him, 'You don't want that pain from him.. don't look.. it can't happen again if he isn't there.' Heero looked away.  
  
"Well... what about--"  
  
And so the rest of the hour went by, Duo relating some memory, Heero saying he knew about every detail except for Duo. So went many other visitations over that first week, all supervised.   
  
What hurt Duo the most was the way Heero wouldn't look at him. He would even take that frightening look of his over this. Now all he wanted... or was it needed? ... was to look into those eyes. Then at least he might be able to answer the questions he was much to afraid to ask Heero about now.   
  
Was it love?  
  
~~~end  
  
  
SnK: Sorry, about zip happened in that chapter, but something will happen in the next one.. I promise!  
Hwoarang:*looks up at her, and makes pleading pink bunny noises*  
SnK:*rolls her eyes* Fine *snaps her fingers and he becomes normal* Anyway, any 2x1 fans out there, pray I listen to Godsmack, 'cause they usually (for some reason) just make me think 2x1 and then I tend to write that way.. but if you're on the 2x5 front, then hope for Smashing Pumpkins. Any other band, though, it pretty much anyone's game.... *shrugs* I'm still indecisive.  
Hwoarang: *opens his mouth, then thinks better of it, and closes it*  
SnK:Wow... well, while Hwoarang's still cowed--  
Hwoarang: hey!  
SnL:--maybe I'll just get to work on thant next chapter... maybe I'll even get it out in a couple of hours....  
Hwoarang: Yeah, riiiiight.  
SnK:*sighs* I knew it was too good to be true. Please review everyone! Ups the chances of actually getting a worthwile chapter 5! ^_^  
  
  



	5. Here Then Gone part 5

Kilik:Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of morality  
SnK: Come on, hurry it up, I've got to go welcome in a new year!  
Hwoarang: Then why not just go now?  
SnK: 'Cause I failed to write this ficcy 2 nights ago, when I ment to, so I gotta do it now... I promised to have something happen!  
Hwoarang:That's never stopped you before.  
SnK:Shut up!  
Kilik:A friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, angst, and cussing.  
Hwoarang: Why cussing..?  
SnK:I told you something was going to happen....  
Hwoarang: Oh, yeah....  
  
  
Here Then Gone part 5  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze  
  
  
It was their first unsupervised visit together. They were in Duo's hotel room, so they could have some privacy.   
  
The others were all still staying at the same hotel, still worried about both Heero and Duo. Quatre took care of his business from his room, Trowa and Wufei both took leaves from their work. The three of them were very uneasy with the current situation..   
  
Well... Wufei was not worried about Heero. The only reason he stayed was for Duo's sake. He was extremely worried since Duo had been keeping to himself so much. Usually Duo was so open.. After living together for awhile, he'd come to sharing his thoughs and feelings with Wufei now again (after he learned Wufei wouldn't scoff at them). But, this past week, Duo had been keeping his distance from everyone...  
  
Wufei wanted so badly to hold Duo in his arms and comfort him. Although Duo was constantly acting as his cheerful self, Wufei could tell it was just an act.. he had learned to read Duo much better from wistfully watching his love during their time together back at their shared condo...This all had to be terribly stressing for his love... he couldn't stand to see things hidden behind those pure violet eyes.   
  
His anger was starting to become focused on Heero Yuy. He could not blame him for losing him memory of Duo, no... but Wufei did not like the way he treated Duo during the visits between the two he'd been present for. He knew Heero was not prone to being very amicable with anyone, much less strangers, but never since after the war had he treated someone so insensitively! Whenever Duo tried to reach out to him, Heero would shove him away, usually with some scathing comment. He did not appear to actually try to recall anything about Duo.. he just said he didn't remember it and waited for the next question.   
  
Wufei remained in his room as the other two boys met alone. He was on edge, he thought this was too soon, just a week after the first visitation between the two teens. He wouldn't leave this place in case Duo needed him... He would stay right here, where Duo could easily find him.. Then he sighed, and rummaged through the drawer in the nightstand where he'd stashed his precious silver picture frame.  
  
There were two dragons intertwining around the frame, one with an amethyst eyes, the other with onyx. Duo had given it to him one day, saying he saw the dragons and thought of him, claiming it was nothing. Probably it was because Duo felt bad for waking Wufei up around 3 AM the past week since he'd been doing overtime... Wufei didn't want to accept it, especially since it was hardly something Duo had to feel sorry for, since Wufei himself often kept strange hours... but in the end Duo had convinced him to take it.   
  
It had come to mean a lot to Wufei, and he had placed the picture he felt was the closest of his to actually capturing the essence of Duo Maxwell on film. He was laughing, after successfully pulling one prank or another, the combination of mischeif and happiness spraking in his eyes, not a single hair obscuring the brilliant orbs. As for his hair, the full shimmering braid had been caught mid-air, but by some miracle unblurred. Wufei ran his hand down across the glass that protected the breathtaking image of his love, as he had a million times before, fulled with a selfish desire to have the photograph's subject as his own.  
  
Meanwhile, in the other room, Duo again felt as if Heero was trying his best to ignore him and pretend he wasn't even there. Over the long sessions, his false, cheery exterior had finally slipped away. Since yesterday, he'd been speaking to Heero without any guards on his emotions or feelings... and it still wasn't working.   
  
"Heero... maybe we've... or I've... been going about this the wrong way..." Heero did not look at him, as he had not been looking at him for the past week. Sighing, Duo continued trying this time to speak from his heart, ".. you know, I still can't believe it? What else I can't believe... is how much it hurts..."  
  
Heero stared straight at the carpet, and snorted from his seat on the bed. He did not look up, because he knew what he would see. He would see that face that his mind warned him about, that made him ache inside. Over and over again, he felt that knowing this person would just bring him pain, even kill him in one way or another.... and not looking made it easier... even though it still caused him pain to hear that damned voice so sorrowful. So he'd blocked that all away and did his best to make Duo go away, to discourage him, so he could be left alone in peace. Which is why, even though he understood perfectly what Duo was saying, he replied with, "I can't believe you were a Gundam pilot."  
  
Finally, Duo started to become angry. He'd taken this for the past week... he'd tried so hard to reach out to Heero, to find the Heero he'd known before, to help his Heero at least get the rest of his memory back! This time he'd let himself become somewhat vulnrable, a thing he hated to do, in hopes it would coax a little bit of the Heero he knew out. And he was burned again. "What about you? Too scared to look me in the eyes?" It was out and said before Duo realized he was thinking it.  
  
Heero decided to look up, to see if anything had changed... and to prove Duo wrong. When he did, he was shocked to find that Duo's face was a mere inch away from his own. He was caught staring straight into an endless amyethyst ocean of raw emotion... on the surface there was pain, anxeity, fear, curiousity, the anger he'd heard earlier in Duo's voice... beneath that there was so much more... but it was too veiled by the other feelings to tell what it was. His heart stopped.  
  
Then Heero paniced, taken completely off guard by the proximity of the person whom that little part of him kept warning him about. So he did what came naturally to him. He attacked. His fist connected with Duo's left cheek and the boy was thrown off the chair and fell to the floor. If Duo made a sound during this time, Heero didn't know, as he was in partial shock.  
  
Heero looked down at Duo, whose eyes were closed shut, hand covering where he'd just been hit, face twisted up in pain. The ache inside him increased tenfold... he immediately regretted his actions, never having ment to do anything like.. that. Then he realized he was shaking, and using the force of his willpower, he made himself stop, collecting himself just as Duo recovered.  
  
"Shit! Heero, what the fuck was that for?!" Duo heard Heero get up off the bed, and his eyes snapped open... and he saw Heero heading toward the bathroom. He sat up, as he heard some noise coming from back there while he stared at the floor, and he rubbed his sore cheek... damn, Heero must've pulled that one at the last minute, because it hurt like hell but he didn't think the jaw was broken, which Heero could have easily done... "You know, you could have just -told- me I was doin' somethin' to piss you off!"  
  
"Here." Duo looked up at the now-familiar cold sound of Heero's voice. He'd wrapped up a bunch of ice and thrown it into a wet towel for him. Duo took it, while mumbling, "Apology accepted..." He wasn't feeling very charitable toward Heero at the moment, which was unsterstandable, he thought... "but you do that again, Heero, and I'm hittin' you back."  
  
Heero turned away from Duo.. he had to get out of there. He had to get out _now_. The longer he was here, the more it was straining his control over himself. He would not let this Duo guy get to him! He headed for the door, determined to get to his room so he could relax a little... being here was too much. He did want Duo to go away, but he did not what to hurt him again like that...  
  
"Hey!" Heero paused at the sound of Duo's voice. "Where do you think you're going?"  
  
"There isn't anything more to talk about today, I'm going to my room." And with that, Heero Yuy exited the room.  
  
Duo sat there, what had happened starting to sink in.. and suddenly the soreness of his cheek did not compare with the pain he felt inside. He couldn't force himself to move to go after Heero... he simply whispered, letting his hand holding the icepack slip away from his face.. "....wait... you never even told me why...."   
  
~~~end  
  
SnK:2x1 and 1x2 fans, don't kill me! ..anyway... you.. you have to go through Hwoarang and Kilik, first, and they're Namco-fighter-guys!!!  
Hwoarang&Kilik:What?I You're on your own, 'Kaze-chan! *they both run away*  
SnK: Cowards!!!!!!! *sighs* Anyway, it still can go either way... although... I think I may finally decide on the prevailing relationship... and let you all know next chapter (...but keep in mind.. this isn't guaranteed). Anyway, Happy New Year everyone!!! (eer.... everyone who celebrates the New Year today, at least ^_^)  
  
Oh yes, and please, please, please, review! It make me want to write faster, and it may be your last chance to influence me on who gets who!  
  



	6. Here Then Gone part 6

Kilik:Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of morality!  
Hwoarang:I never knew anyone could be as servile as you, Kilik.  
Kilik:*eyes turn red as he glares at Hwoarang* At least I still have -some- dignity left, bunny boy.  
Hwoarang:*narrows eyes*  
*both Kilik and Howarang run at eachother, and some wierd disembodied voice, like in nearly all fighting games, calls out out "Kilik vs Hwoarang.. Fight!" SnK just sighs* SnK:I need a muse, do you know how often these guys are like this? Anyway, since Kilik is getting killed over there since he foolishly went into the match without his weapon, I have to do his job for him... A friendly reminder to our readers, this fic contains a little cussing, shounen ai and angst..  
  
Here Then Gone part 6  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze  
  
  
Wufei heard a small commotion in the next room. His heart leaped up into his throat, and then he told himself he was being foolish, that there wasn't any real reason for him to worry. Shortly thereafter, the heard someone leave the room. Wufei squelshed his immediate desire to jump up and dash over to Duo's room to see how he was. Duo would probably want a little time to himself to think, ne?  
  
Two hours later, Wufei decided he had to see Duo. Hopefully by now, Duo might open up to him a little. Besides, he couldn't resist the urge to check up on him any longer. Wufei was knocking on Duo's door before he really knew what he was doing.  
  
Duo still hadn't gotten up from where Heero'd left him, he hadn't even moved much. The icepack had melted and nothing was left in his hand but a damp towel, the spot beneath it on the floor soaking wet. He guessed it was because he startled Heero. Stupid, Duo! Why were you so stupid? He actually looked at you, and you had to scare him....  
  
Duo heard somone at his door. He didn't really want to get up to see who it was... Reluctantly, he dragged himself to his feet. He made his way over to the door, and swung it open to met the onyx eyes of his roommate.  
  
Wufei's eyes widened when he saw the large brusie across Duo's left cheek, causing his heart to skip a beat. "Duo, what happened..?"  
  
Duo looked confused for a moment.. then he realized where exactly Wufei was looking at him. He touched his face lightly and winced, immediatly regretting it. Wake up, Duo, when you get hit that hard, it's gonna leave a mark.... " 's nothin', 'Fei --" He was going to say more when Wufei grabbed the wrist of his hand that still hovered over the bruise, and pulled it out of the way so he could get a better look.  
  
"It isn't nothing, who did this to you?" Wufei was a 100% sure it had been Yuy, and inordinate rage welled inside him, adding to his previous anger with the Japanese boy. Duo did not have that bruise this morning, and it was the correct size and shape of a fist. Duo wasn't going to get himself out of explaining (if that was his intention) by claiming he'd accidently done it. But, he would not accuse Yuy. He would wait to hear Duo answer.  
  
Duo looked away, "It doesn't matter." Duo yanked his wrist away from Wufei's grip. "Just did somethin' I shouldn't've, kay?" He knew how pushy Wufei could be about some things, though, so he moved out of the doorway, since he didn't really doubt that Wufei would be inviting himself in now anyway, and he really didn't feel like agruing with his friend.  
  
Wufei accepted the unspoken invitation in. He walked over to where the ice bucket was kept to check to see if it had any ice left. Duo rolled his eyes.. there was only so much ice could do, but Duo accepted the makeshift icepack Wufei made for him anyway, and placed it lightly against the bruise.  
  
"Whatever you did, no one had the right to hurt you, Duo." Wufei crossed his arms. The only justifiable reason to hurt another person, in these times of peace, was to defend yourself or someone else, weaker than you. Knowing the kind of person Duo was, he seriously doubted Duo had tried to attack anyone. "Who did it, Duo?"  
  
Duo sighed, Wufei would not let him get away with much where his health or saftey was concerned. Well, usually he wasn't too over zealous about it (of course, he usually didn't have to be), but now was one of those times he'd argue for 48 hours straight with him if need be. They could both be very stubborn, but right now Duo didn't have the patience to have a fight with Wufei about a piece of information Wufei was completely able to figure out for himself. Duo began to wonder why it was so damn important for him to hear the words coming from his lips, anyway. Wufei wasn't so stupid as not to have already made an educated guess at to who'd hit him. "It was Heero, but I startled him, and you know how protectin' himself like that is a reflex..."  
  
"Hmph.." Wufei was barely able to contain his sudden fury. Amnesia or no, Heero Yuy had enough control over himself to keep himself from hitting Duo hard enough to leave a bruise like that. Duo was just making excuses for what that son of a bitch had done to him. Duo wanted to protect the person who had been one of his friends...his best friend, Wufei thought with that little touch of envy again. Such a dispicable creature was hardly worthy of Duo's attention, of his friendship... Duo had been trying so despriately to rebuild that friendship, and this was how Yuy responded?!? Inside Wufei, his pent up feelings for Duo mixed with his supressed rage began to create inside him an absolute loathing of Yuy.  
  
Duo was instantly alarmed by the look in Wufei's eyes, "You okay, 'Fei-kun? It's not that bad... calm down... please? " Wufei didn't even seem to be paying attention to him at the moment. He was looking far beyond Duo, beyond the room...   
  
"Wufei!" Wufei blinked as he heard Duo's worried voice shout out his name. He met Duo's eyes... it hurt to see his face marred by that ugly bruise... Yuy would pay for this. "Excuse me Duo, I have things to attend to." Wufei turned and headed for the door.  
  
"Wait!! 'Fei!" Duo tried to stop him, but he was already out the door. Then he heard the a door slam outside in the hall... the sound came from the direction of Wufei's room, so presumably it was his door.   
  
Duo quietly slipped out of his room and walked over to Wufei's. He knocked hesitantly, not wanting Wufei to blow up at him like he used to back during the war... There wasn't any sort of answer "Wufei...? Come on, I know you're in there.. open up, please...?" Still silence. Duo sighed and went back into his room.. or tired to, anyway, but the door had locked behind him and he'd forgotten the key. "Well, shit..."  
  
---  
  
Wufei thanked the mini-bar God as he reached for another one of the overpriced bottles of alcohol. Why was he drinking...? It was so unlike him... of course, it had been very unlike Duo to be drinking in his room, too. Then he remembered why he was drinking.  
  
He was drinking because the man he loved was more devoted to some inconsiderate bastard than to him, even though -he'd- lived with Duo, while the other guy had completely forgotten Duo had existed. The guy who had also been tearing Duo apart from the inside, then had the audacity to harm him. That was it.  
  
Sure, Duo had come to check up on him (and he'd been so rude as to not even speak to his secret love...), but he was sure it was only to make sure he didn't do something to hurt his thrice damned precious Heero.  
  
Wufei stared down at his sacred picture of Duo, then put it away as he twisted the cap off the bottle of alcohol he'd retrieved. He didn't want to drink in front of the picture, something about that just seemed wrong to him.  
  
Then Wufei decided that he wasn't getting plastered fast enough, and that buying a whole bottle of scotch would be a hellvalot cheaper than drinking a bunch of mini ones, so he got his coat, wallet, and left his room in search of liquor.  
  
Wufei was so out of it, he did not notice his Du-chan working on picking the lock to his door, annoyed since he didn't even have to proper tools to break into his room (because the proper tools were in his room with the key, where they did him no good). Duo looked up as Wufei stromed away, and decided to follow... he'd become worried about his Chinese roommate... besides, Wufei had the spare key to his room!  
  
---  
  
Heero felt like shit. No matter how much that little voice told him to stay way from Duo, he had to go find him. He wasn't quite sure what he planned on Duo once he found him, though... he just felt like someone kicked him repeately in the chest, and that maybe seeing Duo would help. Maybe that way the memory of him punching Duo while the boy's guard was completely down would stop repeating itself in him mind, acting like salt to his invisible wounds.  
  
He walked out into the hallway, and down to Duo's door. He noticed a deformed paperclip on the ground, but didn't give it much thought as he knocked on the door... there was no reply. "Duo?" Still nothing. Heero had heard a racket coming from the hall earlier. he'd probably left during that time... so, now the question was, where to find Duo?  
  
Well, he decided he'd just check around. Even though he had a very slim chance of actually finding Duo by randomly walking around (because, he did not remember what he was like, so could not make any guesses based on anything substantial..), it would at least pass the time until Duo returned to his room.  
  
~~~end  
  
SnK:Yes, I'm sure that chapter was boring, especially for you 1x2 2x1 ppl, since there was absoluately no Duo/Heero interaction. But you know, I have to set up for the next chapter... which might also be out today... (a chapter that will possibly ruin the entire fic and make you all hate me, but such is life...)  
Hwoarang:*stops beating the living hell out of Kilik for the momemnt* Remember the last time you said that?  
SnK:I actually have half the next chapter done right now, so it may actually happen. Anyway, I'm gettin' sick of you, boy, beating up my assistant, and doubting me. *snaps her fingers and Hwoarang turns back into the pink bunny, Kilik starts to laugh*  
  
oh yes, and I, personally, believe I have finally come to my decision on the relationships for this fic ('bout time, too) by using the almighty coin flip... but I guess you all don't get to know until later. Review, people, 'cause I may decide to hold the next chapter 'til I get some reviews for this one! (and, btw, sorry about the lameness of this chapter... but that doesn't mean I don't want you to review)  
  



	7. Here Then Gone part 7

Kilik:Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of morality.   
SnK: *stares at pink bunny* He's much more pleasant when he's harmless, isn't he, Kilik?  
Kilik:*nods enthusiastically*  
Pink Bunny (formerly known as Hwoarang): nnnkk! nnn!  
SnK:Is he supposed to be making those noises?  
Kilik:*shrugs* You made him.  
SnK:Ah... whatever.  
Pink Bunny: !!!!!  
Kilik:A friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, violence, and angst... oh, and do I have to tell you that you must read the other parts first or you'll be completely, utterly, hoplessly lost? Thought not.  
  
Here Then Gone part 7  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze   
  
  
Wufei exited the shop, his bottle of whiskey wrapped up in a brown paper bag in his hand. He wasn't two steps from the store before he opened it up and began to drink the vile stuff. But as long as it made him numb for awhile, he didn't care what it was like.  
  
He walked aimlessly for the better half of an hour. He wandered into the park, and then he saw the source of all his newborn hate, also wandering... He seethed, rage bubling just underneth the surface. Then he heard Yuy call out, "Duo?" and that was it. Now he dared to search for Duo, to whom he'd only caused pain, without giving it a second thought?!?   
  
Wufei's mind, clouded as it was, suddenly pulled up the memory of the 6 inch survival knife that was a piece of standard equipment for Preventers field gear. And he was wearing his field jacket, with the pocket holding the knife in the lining. Blindly, Wufei reached for it, completely filled with anger and hate. He would make Yuy pay for the pain he'd caused Duo. He would protect Duo from him....  
  
He approched Yuy, and he let the bottle of whiskey drop. Heero spun around at the noise. "Wufei." he stated, noting the knife and the look in his 'friend's eyes.   
  
"You were the one who hurt Duo." Heero was unsure how to react to that. Then Wufei asked, "Do you deny it?"  
  
"No." Heero had begun to wish that he could. From where Wufei now stood, Heero could smell the alcohol on him.  
  
"Do you have any idea how much you've been hurting him?" Wufei said, his voice growing louder, grip tightening on the weapon.  
  
"..." Heero had to think about that one. He'd known that Duo was hurt by some of his remarks, but as he only looked into Duo's eyes that once, he could not have claimed to really known how much pain he'd been causing Duo all along. "No." he finally answered.  
  
He didn't think it could be more than what he himself had been going through, but maybe he was wrong... that pain he'd been trying to avoid... was Duo in that kind of pain? He realised, that this whole time, he had not really even thought about how Duo was feeling. Sure, he'd heard the sorrow in Duo's voice.. but he had only been concerned with the pain that had made _him_ feel... what had he been doing? Unfamiliar emotions began to act up inside again, and if he'd thought he'd been hurting before... damn, what good were these feelings, anyway?   
  
Wufei growled, and prepared to strike. Heero looked up at him, looked at his stance. Wufei was drunk, Wufei was slow. Heero could have easily escaped, or broken Wufei's wrist.. he could have easily done a hundred things to avoid the knife in Wufei's hands. But he could not find the will in which to do them with. He watched as Wufei lunged at him, watched as he passed the point of no return, the point where no one could stop him from hitting what was in front of him. They were so absorbed in each other, they had not heard their names being shouted out in despiration and panic.   
  
Heero closed his eyes, waiting to feel the blade inside him. Wufei felt the knife he held embed itself to the handle. Then there was a cry.. and Heero opened his eyes, seeing a chestnut braid hanging in front of him.  
  
Wufei's eyes widened as he saw violet eyes clouded with pain, as he held the handle of the knife buried in the American who'd become his world and warm blood spilled on him told him it was all horrible reality... A hand came around his, and Wufei cried, voice filled with anguish, "Duo!!!" He let go of the knife handle and Duo wrapped both his hands around it, trying to do something to control the bleeding. Then Duo's legs gave out beneath him and he fell to his side, the impact forceing the air out of his lungs. He coughed, and blood came up, splattering crimson the the park sidewalk.  
  
Then there was a scream from a young mother with a stroller who saw Duo fall. This was followed by similar screams as people began to actually notice the trio once blood was spilled.  
  
Heero heard none of it. Duo... the blood....  
  
---  
  
"Duo, you're bleeding."  
  
Duo looked at him quizically, "What?"  
  
"Your lip, it's bleeding."  
  
Duo touched his lips lightly, and looked down, surprized to find Heero was right, and there was blood there. "Oh, it's just 'cause my lips are chapped. Damn cold..."  
  
---  
  
"Oi, Heero!" Duo grinned, as the cockpit to Deathscythe-Hell opened, even though there was blood trickling down the right side of his pale face, beads of sweat on his forehead. Heero felt two sensations at once, it was confusing... one, the pleasant feeling that usually came with Duo's presence, and... fear? Fear of what...? The mission wasn't in any danger..... pushing the confusing sensations away, he spoke.  
  
"Duo, what happened?"  
  
Duo shrugged, "The skrimish got a little out of hand. Deathscythe got a little beat up, 'sall there is to tell."  
  
"You need medical attention."  
  
Duo had been busying himself unstrapping the saftey harness while Heero had spoken. "It isn't that bad." Duo got up with a soft groan, and Heero would later learn it was probably because it bothered his brusied ribs to get up. Duo was a little shakey on his feet, so when he reached the catwalk in front of Deathscythe where Heero was standing, Heero grabbed Duo and helped him to walk, pleased with the way Duo's warmth beside him felt. It also felt.... right.  
  
"Heero, this really isn't necessary..." Since Duo wasn't fighting him, and Heero did not want the feeling of Duo next to him to end any eariler than it must, he did not stop. And they went that way to the infirmary.  
  
---  
  
"...Duo..." Heero murmered, as something inside of him released a portion of what he'd lost. It was the first time he'd spoken Duo's name since he'd woken up from his coma. It felt good to say. The current situation fled his mind, and he was too much in shock to do anything but stand there.  
  
Wufei ignored Heero.. he was insignificant. He fell to his knees beside Duo. Duo looked up at him. He opened his mouth to day something. Wufei placed one of his bloodsoaked hands over his lips. There were tears in Wufei's eyes... what had he done? His whole body shook, but he did not cry.. not yet at least. "Don't try to talk... it'll be alright" Wufei said as soothingly as he could. Then he noticed Duo's body was shaking, too, only much worse... by all that was holy, what had he done?!?  
  
Then Wufei couldn't stop it... the tears had wills of their own, and demanded to be released. They fell onto the ground, and they mingled with Duo's blood. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was his fear that this was his last chance to speak to Duo, but for whatever reason, Wufei leaned over, and whipsered to Duo, "I love you."  
  
Duo's only visible reation was the widening of his eyes... and being this close to Duo... after telling him at last... Wufei had to take the next step... so he leaned down and pressed his lips against Duo's, though he took the kiss no father. He just had to feel those lips against his... His mouth was filled with the the salty taste of blood, and Wufei pulled back, knowing he had no right... that he was taking advantage of Duo, who was helpless... which only made the tears run down his face faster.   
  
"I'm so sorry... I didn't know what I was doing." That statement, at least, was true for both of his senseless actions. He knew Duo would never forgive him now.. he looked at Duo's sparkling eyes... sparking now with tears, instead of the joy Wufei had grown so fond of... but he was unable to read them, they were too awash with pain.  
  
"You..." And that was all the warning Wufei got when suddenly, Heero lept from where he'd been standing and tackled him. Sitting astride Wufei, Heero raised a fist, eyes sparking with anger. Wufei didn't struggle, even though he knew that look in Yuy's eyes ment he was very likey going to beat him to death here and now. He deserved to die a thousand deaths for what he'd done... no.. that was not enough for the likes of him.  
  
Duo tried to force his voice to work, to say anything to get their attention. He'd used his body to shield Heero to keep Wufei from killing him in a fit of rage... but not so that Heero could turn around and kill Wufei in a fit of rage. They were continuing with the meaningless fight dispite his efforts to stop them...  
  
Before Heero could take the first punch, before Duo got his voice to cooperate, a man grabbed Heero's hand, and started talking to him. Duo couldn't make out what they were saying... other people he didn't know were converging on him, now. Appearently, after Heero restained the assailant, the people around had grown bolder. The people surrounding him blocked his veiw of Heero, Wufei, and the stranger. They blocked out anything he could see, there was just a wall of blurry parts of people. Duo closed his eyes.. so tired...  
  
"Stand back! Give him some air!" Female voice... he felt a delicate hand slap him lightly on his unbruised cheek. The same voice said, "Wake up.. stay awake, the ambulance is coming!" Duo opened his eyes, suddenly remembering what might happen to him if he let himself slip away now. After the world stopped spinning, a blurry image of a woman in front of him came into veiw. There was clear sky behind her... appearently, the people had listened and backed away. He felt fingers at his throat checking his pulse, and heard her speaking soothingly, even though he could detect panic beneath her calm tone. "That's good. Everything's going to be fine.. a hospital's really close by... just keep awake... can you talk..?"  
  
After a moment of collecting himself, Duo managed a shakey yes, followed by a shakey smile.  
  
He forced his eyes to focus, and saw the woman smile back at him, "We're going to have to move you, alright?"  
  
"Y-yea... s..shh...sure.." Then Duo felt as he was carefully rolled onto his back, as not to disturb the position of the knife and make things worse, and while it was happening he heard the woman ask him, "What's your name?". He felt as his legs were elevated off the ground... as they put him into the shock posistion. "D-Du...o..."  
  
"Duo?" At Duo's slight nod, she continued, "Alright, Duo, could you please let go of the knife...?" He hadn't realised he had his hands still wrapped around it, and so he let go. Some type of cloth was put around it, and he groaned as pressure was applied. He felt so weak, and so thirsty...  
  
The woman continued to speak soothingly to him, while using a bit of cloth to wipe the blood from around his mouth. He stopped consentrating hard enough on her words to understand what they ment... Duo was very confused, and a part of him realized it was probably do to the shock and bloodloss.. He tried to collect his thoughts, to figure out what was going on... Then he felt the woman slap him lightly again and he opened his eyes... he didn't remember letting them close... The woman's voice was now more paniced, "Duo! You have to stay up, okay..?"   
  
Then she began to ask him questions, meanless questions just so he'd stay with her, having to pause to shake him awake now and then. But, it was of no use. Duo was taken by darkness before he realised what happening.  
  
---  
  
Heero was completely and fully ready to kill Wufei, here and now, in front of all these people. But surprizingly, it took only one hand around his wrist to make him break off that train of thought, if only for a moment, and look up. There was a bald man who looked like he was in his 50's, but who was still very much in shape and had the look of someone who'd seen a hellvalot during his time.  
  
"Is he worth killing, son?" Heero looked up at the man, blank expression he wore so often firmly implanted on his face, but his bloodlust still raged beneath his exterior. "I've seen that look in people's eyes before, boy, so, is he worth it?"  
  
"I've killed before." Heero did not say it threatingly, angryly... just in his normal monotone. Because it was a simple fact, and nothing more.  
  
"No doubt you have. But think about it, for a minute. This isn't a warzone..", Young, though Heero was, the man knew the eyes of a soldier, and he had them. "Killing him here is murder, you've already go him under contol... I don't think that kid who saved you would be very happy with you if you threw your life away for a little revenge... If you continue to solve problems with killing, you'll be just like him." The man glanced down a Wufei, "Let the police take care of him, you don't need to do anything but hold him."  
  
The man let go of Heero's wrist as his arm relaxed. Kid who'd saved him? ...Duo!! How could he have been so thoughtless, again? He looked over to where Duo fell, but couldn't see him as a crowd seemed to have encircled him. His heart beat faster... he felt sick... he'd just begun to remember how wonderful Duo's presence could make him feel... he still hadn't made what he'd done to Duo right (as if he ever could..)... there was so much he needed Duo for. He couldn't lose him now!  
  
The man guessed Heero was concerned about Duo. He'd seen the boy who'd been stabbed screaming out two names at them, like he knew them, before he was struck. He figured that the boy was something special to this kid. That boy had to think somethin' of Heero to take a hit like that for him... and the man didn't care if they were simply friends, brothers, or lovers... Heero should know how that other kid was doing. "I'll go check on him..", the man did not want to risk the attacker escaping by trading places with Heero so he could check up on the boy for himself. He looked down at Wufei, who's eyes had taken a glazed over quality, "You got him?" At Heero's nod, the man left.  
  
Standing at 6' 2", he could see over the crowd of on lookers with relative ease. One glance was all he needed, though, to tell it wasn't good. There was blood everywhere, on the sidewalk, soaking the shirt they'd pressed around the knife. Some man was offering another shirt to be placed around the wound, and the woman at the boy's head was trying to get him to open his eyes. The boy's skin was pale, he was sweating profusely, and his breathing appeared shallow.. all signs of shock. He noted, though, that the person leading his 'treatment' was Anja... he knew her from when he was a soldier.. a good person, and a better nurse. If anyone could keep the boy alive, it was her. He stuck around the scene just long enough to watch the boy's eyes twitch and flicker open, before he went back to Heero.  
  
"How is he?" The voice the boy with the Prussian blue eyes sounded indifferent... if one's voice sould be indifferent and strained at the same time. The man was unsure what to say, so he stuck with "He's in good hands." The glare he recieved next told him plainly that he'd better not avoid the truth. For all Heero knew, 'good hands' were the hands of any God this man might believe in. So the man said, "He's still alive, but he's in shock because it looks like he's lost a lot of blood." Heero quit glaring at him after that, and instead chose to glare at Wufei.  
  
Wufei blinked for the first time in a long time, once he heard how Duo was doing. Then again his mind was consumed with self-accusing thoughts, self loathing, and fear and anxiety over Duo's health.  
  
Heero was still trying to deal with the stress of his memories, Wufei attacking him, and Duo's condition all at once. And it wasn't working very well, so Heero's mind ran on half power, only allowing him to concentrate on holding down the unresisting Wufei.  
  
Then there were sirens, and a couple of police officers came to lead Heero away, and arrest Wufei. While Heero's mind still did not function properly, he did not answer their questions. They asked other witnesses, and pieced together what had happened. They took Heero's name, and told him he'd probably be called to drop by the station the next day. Then they put Wufei, who was in handcuffs but still not resisting, in the backseat of a patrol car, and drove away. That's when Heero wandered back to where he'd originally pinned Wufei.  
  
Heero, no longer having Wufei or the police to distract the working half of his mind, noticed the police start to break up the crowd... When he saw the blood left on the ground where Duo was he snapped out his daze.   
  
Wait... where Duo -was-..? Where was Duo now!?  
  
~~~end  
  
SnK: *throws back head in manaical laugher, sitting in a large black throne, petting her angry looking pink bunny* Uwah hahahahaha!  
  
Is Duo dead? I dunno... but we'll all find out alot faster if you review.   
  
A thing to keep in mind is, I love Duo, but I also love Wufei and Heero... and I love Wufei and Heero nearly the same amount. So, why would I play favorites and break only one of their hearts...? *evil grin*   
  
Kilik:Why are you being so mean?  
Duo: Yeah, why the hell are you being so mean?!  
SnK:*blinks* where'd you come from?  
*Duo points to her wonderful new Duo poster, which is now missing Duo*  
SnK:Damn... paid good money for that....  
Kilik&Duo:Answer us!!!  
SnK:Oh... I think the evilness Cherry seemed so proud of *coughinSomeoneElse'sStarpart5cough* was infectous... although, we all shouldn't blame her, I've been thinking about doing this since I added the 5x2... I need to resolve it somehow...  
  
Moral of the story? *eg* Review..... *innocent puppy dog eyes* ...please...?  
  
PS-Hope the fic itself wasn't too confusing.. there's some flashbacks and backtracking thrown in there....  
  
  
  



	8. Here Then Gone part 8

Kilik:Shinigami no Kamikaze doesn't own Gundam Wing, but she does own a really cool Gundam Wing pencil that has a roller stamp on the top which stamps "Chang Wufei" and a little Chibi Wufei face.  
SnK:But you can't have it! Even if you sue me! I'll break it before it comes to that, so Wufei-kun will never be in your fil---  
Kilik:*covers SnK's mouth* Shhh... it wouldn't be wise to insult the people reading you fic.  
SnK:*mumbles something angerly, glares at Kilik with the "I'll-either-Chibify-you-or-turn-you-into-a-pink-bunny---no-,-a-pink-bunny-slipper-if-you-don't-let-go"*  
Kilik:*hastily uncovers her mouth*  
Chibi Hwoarang:This is humiliating, why do I have to be chibi again, but Kilik doesn't?!?  
SnK:*glares*I take it you'd rather be a pink bunny...?  
Chibi Hwoarang:*eyes go wide* N-no, no!! Chibiness is fine!  
SnK:I thought so... Anyway, I'm very, very sorry for taking so long with this part (but, I think it's a bit longer than the rest...). There are a bunch of reasons why fate kept dragging me away from the computer before I had time to write this fic, but I doubt you care/will believe them. But trust me, if it had not been for my kind and wonderful reviews (Cherry doesn't count because she's being mean because I'm being mean... but she started it...)  
ChibiHwoarang:'She started it'? you sound like you're two years old...  
SnK:... _as I was saying_, if not for my reviewers you'd've been lucky to get this part by next Wednsday.... So, moving on....  
Kilik:A friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, cussing, and angst...  
  
(oh yea, '...'=thinking)  
  
Here Then Gone part 8  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze  
  
  
"You'd better pray to any and all the gods you believe in that that kid lives." the officer practically growled at him. "Do you know the kind of sentence you can get with a murder charge...? Do you know the kind of punishment comes with the loss of life during these times?"  
  
'Pray that that kid lives... murder... loss of life'... all were like daggers in Wufei, though he wondered if it was even a fraction of the pain he'd cause Duo... The officers interrogating him knew nothing of what he was going through right now. He'd been praying to every god he knew the name of since he realized what he'd done.  
  
"What condition is he in...?", murmered Wufei, almost so softly that no one heard him. It was so unlike him. Usually his words were clear, loud.. as he always had confidence in what he was saying. Now he was unsure of everything, especially everything about him. He was such a weakling, giving in to alcohol and rage. And now it was not going to kill him, as it should, it would destory the one he loved. Or maybe it was some twisted form of justice, that by trying to protect the one whom he loved, he'd turned into their executioner.  
  
No! There was no justice in that. Duo should not have to pay for his own foolishness and shortcomings. Duo shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of someone he felt nothing for, to whom he wasn't connected to.  
  
"I don't think you deserve to know."  
  
Wufei winced inwardly. He was right.. he was right.... "I did it, I admit to it. I attempted to kill Heero Yuy, I stabbed Duo, I did it." Wufei had a hard time to keep his voice from breaking on the last part. Mourning over it would not chanced the fact that he might have killed the most important person in his life. What was he talking about? Duo Maxwell was his life... he'd have no desire to continue even if Duo had died of natural causes... his work could no longer sustain him.. could never again be the only thing in his life.  
  
---  
  
Quatre answered the call immediately. He'd gotten a feeling earlier something was wrong... So he put the other person he'd been talking to about business on hold. Rashid was on the other line, and he said, "I've got a imporant call to forward to you, Master Quatre." At the blonde's nod, the face on the screen changed to that of a woman in a hospital.. or at least, that's what he guessed from the red cross in the background. It only made him more nervous.  
  
"Hello, Quatre Winner speaking."  
  
"Hello Mr. Winner. I'm afriad I have some bad news.." said the woman on the other end. Quatre's heart began to race, suspicions confirmed, or at least so it seemed. "It says here you were to be informed in case there was an emergency, and Duo Maxwell was seriously injured or sick.."  
  
"Something's wrong with Duo...?" Quatre did not hide the worry in his voice from her. He was not used to covering up or shutting out his emotions. His voice wavered, and his eyes widened. What could have happened?  
  
"Duo Maxwell was admitted to the Distict 9 L137556 hospital at 2:23pm with a severe puncture wound to the abdomen, and doctors are working on him now. Bloodloss, and the apperent exhaustion of his body are creating some complications. They are not sure if he will live."  
  
Quatre was shocked.. knife wound? Who would assult Duo... he didn't do it to himself, did he? Exhaustion? He knew Duo looked a little worn down from all the stress, but he did not appear to be on his last legs. He should have been more watchful of his friend! He should not have been so tied up in his work as if he had been back at one of his manors.... Quatre collected himself, and nodded solemnly, "I'll be there as soon as possible. Thank you." The woman nodded herself, and ended the transmission.   
  
Quatre told his first caller there was an emergency, and immediately was out the door. He knocked on Trowa's door, and nearly instantaneously the circus preformer opened the door. He saw Quatre's expression, and knew something was terribly wrong. Before he could ask , Quatre spoke to him faster than he was used to hear Quatre talking, "Duo's at the hospital in critical condition."  
  
Trowa did not ask questions, there was time for that later. He quickly ran back into his room to retrieve his key so he could get back in, and continued running back out to the hall to met Quatre. Quatre had gone to stop between two doors, the door to Heero's room, and the door to Wufei's room.  
  
"I don't think either of them is here... I'm not sure that Heero should see Duo. I don't know even if he'd want to, and I don't think it would be good for Duo", Trowa said flatly. He did not think Quatre or Wufei was enchanted with the way Heero had been treating Duo since he'd woken, he certainly wasn't.   
  
Quatre hesitated.. but he did not have time to hesitate. "Let's go.. we can call from the hospital and leave a message... for Wufei." Trowa had a good point... he did not feel right about it, but Trowa definately had a point. Maybe he was just thinking about how Heero used to be. Together they left to find the quickest way to the hospital that was swiftly becoming their second home.  
  
---  
  
Heero frantically looked around for a sign of what had happened to Duo. 'Calm down, think about this reasonably. Where do they take injured people? To a hospital.'  
  
Heero never saw the ambulance that had come to pick Duo up, but then again he had been going around in a stupor. But was Duo even still alive...? If Wufei had killed him, Heero would be sure that Wufei died a slow death. Followed by his own... it was what he deserved for what he had put Duo through. This time, he'd finish what he started... and no Duo would be there to save him.  
  
That was right.. Duo saved him. Not once, but twice. He was saved from a death brought upon himself by the god of death himself. But it ment nothing. Duo was only protective of his comrades, even after all this time. Heero's actions clearly showed he was unworthy... Wufei should have killed him. Wufei was right to have tried. But, even though he believed that, he could never forgive Wufei if his actions led to Duo's death.  
  
"Here, boy!" Heero turned his head to see the man who'd first stopped him from killing Wufei. "I'll take you to the hospital, if you want." Heero wondered why the man was being so nice... but, it seemed to be the fastest and easiest way there, so Heero ran over and opened up the passenger side door. He believed if there was trouble, he could handle it.  
  
The man immediately got in, and drove the silent boy to the hospital. He did not make conversation.. by the boy's manner, he doubted he would have gotten an answer to anything he said, anyway. He pulled up at the front, and Heero simply opened the door, and sprinted for the doors. The man never expected any thanks, though, so with a sigh and a wish for them both to have good luck, he drove away.  
  
---  
  
Trowa stood outside Duo's door, while Quatre watched over him from inside. They both were clueless as to what had happened to him.. who would have stabbed him, or left that bruise across his cheek? A regular criminal with only a knife wouldn't have had a chance against Duo... that left two very disturbing options, since both Heero and Wufei were still no where to be found. He did not think Wufei would do it, he was seemed to be the most protective of Duo. Heero, the way he was now... he could not be sure.  
  
Then he saw Heero coming quickly down the hallway, and Trowa moved straight in front of the door, to block Heero in case he thought he was going in. Trowa was somewhat glad he brought his gun along when he'd gone back to get his key. Heero stopped right in front of him, "Let me by." he said icily.  
  
Trowa didn't move. "There is no reason for me to. No one you claim friendship with is beyond the door. For all I know, you were the one who did it."  
  
Heero's eyes flared somewhat, and one of his fists clenched, yet his tone stayed the same, "Let me by... I can remember him now... Wufei stabbed him. Let me by."  
  
Trowa's visible eye narowed somewhat, "That's very convenient. You could be right, but I can't take any chances with him in this condition. If you remember.. if you care.. you'll understand why."  
  
Heero thought about for a moment. If placed in Trowa's poition, he'd probably do much the same thing, but that did not matter to him now. Duo was still alive, and since that could easily change, Heero needed to talk to him now... it didn't matter that he wasn't awake to listen, "I understand, but I need to see him. This could be my last chance."  
  
"He's unconscious, what possibly could you need to do?"  
  
"I need to tell him something."  
  
Trowa shook his head, "No. Not until I find out what happened." Heero knew by his tone, that the only way to get by Trowa now was by disabling him, and while Heero was tempted, he couldn't risk it.   
  
---  
  
At last, both Quatre and Trowa were informed about the incident. Quatre felt Heero should be let in to see Duo, definatly, now. Trowa did not agree. Unfortunately, at least in Trowa's eyes, Heero was equal to them both when it came to where Duo placed them as his kin, since he had none of his own.  
  
Heero walked into the ICU where they kept Duo. Heero stopped in the doorway when he at last saw him. Duo was so pale and still... He breathed on his own, yet... there was so little movement. Duo was usually so vibrant. Heero felt this was wrong, the very embodiment of wrong. The brusie he'd given Duo (...the only thing he'd given Duo...) stood out on his slacken face devoid of any sign of life.. the dark circles around his eyes made him look more like he could have been dead... Then he noticed Trowa in the room, standing between him and Duo yet again. Trowa still had some doubts.  
  
"I want to talk to him alone." Heero glared at Trowa, but Trowa met his eyes with one of his own.  
  
Trowa crossed his arms, "There's still something unexplained. The police said Wufei stabbed Duo. No one saw Wufei hit Duo. They said the brusie was already there. Heero, how was Duo bruised?"  
  
Trowa's eyes narrowed once more as Heero broke of the stare to look at Duo. "Why do you think I would know?" Heero was so close to Duo now... he did not want Trowa to get in the way now.  
  
"Not just anyone can hit Duo, not that hard. That bruise was made by a fist. They said Wufei's original target was you, that he seemed to be horrified that Duo got in the way. Why would he attack you, Heero? Even drunk, he would have had to have been provoked."  
  
To Trowa's surprize, Heero's eyes fell away from Duo. His voice softened. "I hit Duo."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He... he frightened me."  
  
"How?" Heero was not easily frightened, but Trowa figured there had to be something.   
  
"It's none of your business." Heero now glared at Trowa. It had been hard to admit that he had been scared... scared of Duo, who had only been doing his best to help him. It was weakness, and yet he had told Trowa. Now Trowa wanted more from him?  
  
"Fine, but I'm not leaving." Trowa aside, so he was no longer directly in Heero's way at getting from Duo, and moved to the end of Duo's bed, and watching every move the Japanese boy made.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, Heero thought about his options. He did not want to share his conclusions with anyone but Duo, yet he needed to tell Duo, who still was not out of harm's way...who still might die. He could not force Trowa out, just as Trowa could not force him out. Heero closed the door, then letting his full glare out on Trowa, "Tell no one what occurs here."  
  
Trowa was a little confused, but replied with, "I promise you." Trowa's confusion turned to surprize as Heero knelt next to Duo, and placed a hand over the American's.  
  
'His hand... so cold...' Heero thought about the times during the war when he'd gotten a chance to be close to Duo.. to touch.. to feel his warmth against his skin. Heero reached out, and as he gently brushed the bangs away from Duo's closed eyes. He could feel Trowa's eyes drilling holes into him, ready to come to Duo's defense if he did anything to hurt him. Heero was just relieved that Duo still had some warmth left in him, he had felt it when he'd touched Duo's silky hair. Heero then placed both his hands around one of Duo's, trying to bring back some of the warmth there. It was stupid, Heero thought, but he wanted to do it anyway. He said softly, while leaning over Duo, so he was speaking from just above Duo's head... soft enough that Trowa barely heard... "I love you."  
  
Trowa could hardly believe it. He had been in shock when Heero had started to display... was it tenderness? .. to Duo. Trowa would still keep his word, he decided to himself, and keep quiet about this.  
  
Heero stood up, and started to walk a couple of steps back, his hands sliding reluctantly from Duo's. He did not want to be caught in such a moment of weakness by anyone else. It was bad enough Trowa was here. But his feelings told him he had to, and he decided to listen to them.  
  
They stood in silence for awhile. "Trowa, how much danger is he still in?"  
  
"Duo's strong. He'll live." For once, Heero was not upset by the aversion to his question. He wanted so badly to believe Trowa.  
  
---  
  
Two days later, Duo's condition was changed from critical to stable and they moved him out of intensive care...two more days after that, Trowa, Quatre, and Heero were all present when Duo began to stir. Heero was immediately by his side, closest to his face, but Trowa gently tugged at his shirt, whipsering so only he could hear, "Last time he talked to you, you hit him. Is it wise for you to be the first person he sees..?" Although he did not want to, he gave up his position to Quatre, giving in to Trowa's logic, and stood next to the blonde boy.   
  
Duo was first aware of pain, and then became aware that there were people around. He heard someone's hushed talking, he thought, and struggled to work his eyelids, to force them up.  
  
Trowa was walking to his place at the foot of the hospital bed when Duo managed to open his eyes and blinked, trying to remember what had happened, where he was...how he'd been hurt... He saw Quatre's face leaning over him, and smiled, even as everything that'd landed him here came rushing back to him, "Hey Q-man". His voice was strained and weak, and both Trowa and Heero had to strain to hear him.  
  
Quatre smiled down at his braided friend, "Good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"  
  
Duo grinned at him, "How do you think, Quatre?". If anyone else knew what it was like to have a shrap object imbedded into their abdomen, it was Quatre. He felt that kind of fuzzy feeling he got when on painkillers, yet it still hurt like all Hell. "How long have I been out...?"  
  
"Four days" It was Trowa's voice. Four days..? Duo felt completely spent, still... probably all that healing he had to be doing... Duo blinked a couple of times so his vision wasn't so blurry, and kept the grin on his face as he said, "Hi Trowa!" But his clearer vision had noted another face. A face he was shocked to see, "Heero?!" He didn't think he'd bother to see him... well, maybe Heero felt he had to tell him how stupid he'd been. Even so, he kept his cheerful grin on. "Surprized.. to see you here." He had not ment to put that little pause in his sentence, but he was just so tired.  
  
Quatre gave Trowa a glance that said maybe they should leave them alone for a bit. Trowa wasn't sure about trusting Heero alone with Duo. Duo was helpless and if Heero didn't get out if Duo asked him to, Duo couldn't do anything about it. It would be no challenge for Heero to overpower the hospitialized boy, and Trowa as still a little nervous about letting a man who admitted to giving Duo that nasty bruise alone with him when that was the situation was like that.. even if Heero claimed to love Duo... Anyway, Duo probably should be resting... Then Quatre tugged on his arm, and he let himself be led out. But he'd stay close by, and if he heard anything suspcious....  
  
Duo was confused. Why were they leaving him with Heero..? Heero hated him... Then Heero said quietly, "I have my memories.. or at least, a good portion of them back, Duo.." Duo's eyes widened, and Heero met the glimmering amythests. For the first time since his coma, Heero did not glare at him with disgust.. in fact, his face wore the softest expression he'd ever seen it (not that anyone else would consider Heero's current expression soft at all)...and Heero had called him Duo... Heero had said he remembered! It was a lot to take in, along with everything else from his somewhat jumbled memories of when Wufei'd stabbed him. He couldn't think of a thing to say or do.  
  
Heero took advantage of Duo's silence to continue. Those eyes.. they were so beautiful. Why had he been avoiding them so? The words suddenly sprang from his mouth as if they had wills of their own, "I love you."   
  
Then Heero felt ashamed of himself, and looked down, away from the beautiful Shinigami who's love he could never hope to attain. He was supposed to have some control over himself. He hadn't wanted to tell Duo while he was -awake-. He didn't want Duo to know his weakness... He didn't want to have his unrealistic hope that Duo felt for him a fraction of what he felt for Duo crushed when Duo told him that he'd only saved him because he felt it was he duty. He didn't want to see the scorn in Duo's eyes, his disgust to think that a creature like Heero would feel such things about him.  
  
He'd probably want... want someone like that bastard who'd stabbed him. Wufei didn't deserve Duo, yet he was infinitely more worthy of the divine avatar than Heero. At least Wufei thought about Duo's feelings... Now Duo'd probably not want him anywhere near him. Then he'd go back to his original pain that being without the loving, carefree soul had caused... was that what that nagging voice was warning him against, the one who pushed him away from Duo? He'd had the right idea before... if only Duo had let him die.. either time.  
  
Duo was too much in shock to make a sound. He tried to say Heero's name, but all he managed was to move his mouth. Heero wasn't looking at him, he was staring at the floor. In that moment, when their eyes had met.. he felt... yet... it was too much! Duo's fuzzy mind, not working as well as it should because of exhaustion and painkillers, was suffering information overload. Wufei had said said he loved him, too.. Duo had been reminded when Heero'd used the exact same words as he. So, who was it that had made his heart leap into his throat, causing his speechlessness...?   
  
Heero turned, and Duo knew he was going to bolt. That enabled him limited use of his voice once again, "Heero!" But Heero was heading for the door. Duo found strength he didn't have before. "Heero!" he said.. this time a volume considered normal for others, yet it was as loud as he could possibly make himself now.. just as Heero opened the door. Duo used his newfound enegry and without thinking, sat up, twisting his body in the bed, "Hee--!" he was cut off as pain suddenly clouded all his thoughts and he cried out at the intensity of it, falling limply against the bed again, moaning.  
  
Trowa and Quatre saw the door swing open, Heero hurry away, and heard Duo desperately call out his name. Then the door closed just as they heard Duo start to say Heero again, and then the two of them heard him cry in pain. They looked at each other, and in that one glance, they agreed on a course of action. Trowa would go after Heero, Quatre would make sure Duo was alright.  
  
Quate walked in to see Duo twisted around in a way he definately should not have been, groaning in pain, holding his arms loosely around himself. Rushing over, Quatre laid Duo back straight on the bed. Duo blinked heavily a couple of times while his breath came in ragged gasps, "Sorry.. I screwed up.." he mumbled, barely audible. Quatre saw a spot of blood coming through Duo's hospital gown, and made a small distressed nosie in the back of his throat. When Duo saw it, he added, "..bad.."  
  
"I'm going to go get a doctor." Quatre said somewhat shakily... Duo had only just woken up! Duo's only response was "...nnn.." as he fought sleep off.. then failed, his eyes closing so he could rest. Quatre rushed out into the hall, panicked, to find a nurse, an orderly, anyone...  
  
---  
  
Trowa called out Heero's name for the 14th time, and finally he slowed and came to halt. "What are you doing?" Trowa demanded as he walked up to where Heero was. He didn't say it accusingly.. he didn't want Heero to take off again.  
  
"I told him." Trowa was standing right behind Heero, but from his voice alone Trowa knew exactly what Heero had told Duo.  
  
Trowa said gently,"..what did he tell you...?"  
  
"I didn't give him a chance to reply."  
  
"Then why did you run...?"  
  
"I fucked up."  
  
Trowa sighed inwardly, "Yeah, you did. He was calling to you, why didn't you answer..?" Trowa decided now was not the time to bring up that Duo'd likely hurt himself trying to get Heero to come back. Of course, Trowa did not know how bad it was, it could be nothing..  
  
"... I don't know."  
  
"You were afraid."  
  
"... yes."  
  
"What do you plan to do now?"  
  
Heero finally turned to face him. Trowa had never in his life seen eyes so empty. Like Heero had fled his body, and gone into hiding, letting the rest of him walk around and act like he usually did like a programmed machine. "I plan to leave."   
  
"Suicide?"  
  
"...yes" How did Trowa know so well?  
  
Then Trowa slapped him across the face. Not hard enough to leave a bruise, although it turned red and stung Heero, and he brought his head up to see the disgusted look on Trowa's face, "Do you know anything about Duo? Do you remember what he told up about his past, why he called himself Shinigami...?" Heero shook his head. "Let's just say alot of people around him, that he was close to, that he loved, died. Do you know how much your death would devistate him, even if he didn't love you?! And how about the rest of us? ... You claim to love him, but you're ready to take the fastest way out!" Trowa's words started to hit home, but then he truely stabbed Heero in the heart with his last sentences, "What do you think if you killed yourself now, after you told him what you felt? He'd blame himself, like all the other deaths he blames himself for. What do you think he'd do after that, Heero!?!"  
  
Heero looked away. Trowa continued, softer now, "Heero, it's hard to understand someone else's feeling when you hardly know your way around your own... but Duo, right now, although he'd never admit it, is fragile. He's been through alot during his life, he's going through alot now. You've got to listen to him if you hope to learn to not to hurt him. People like us can unintentionally hurt people like Duo or Quatre because we don't give much thought to feelings, because we've never thought much of our own. It can work.. don't give up hope..." Trowa did not know what else to say. Talking was far from his specialty.  
  
Heero was ashamed. He shouldn't have left Duo like that... He turned back for Duo's room, and Trowa walked silently with him.  
  
Heero's heart nearly stopped when he stepped into the room, and found only an empty and tousled bed, a few crimson marks standing out against the white sheets. "Where is he?!" he growled, rage in his eyes covering up the terror.  
  
Trowa blacked the doorway, to keep Heero from doing anything drastic. "I heard him cry out while he was calling to you.. Quatre stayed behind to make sure he was taken care of."  
  
"That doesn't answer my question.." Heero hissed, although he was now cursing the day he was born (more than ever before). How many times would his actions bring harm to Duo? Why did he always hurt him? ..Maybe it was best if he disappeared again once Duo got better.. if he got better.  
  
"Don't blame yourself." Trowa's words were hardly comforting to Heero.. He walked straight up to Trowa, obviously wanting to go out to find out what became of Duo immediately. "We'll stay here until Quatre comes back... there isn't anything else we can do, Heero."  
  
Heero narrowed his eyes. He was tired of Trowa's meddling. He was sick of Trowa getting the way. He had yet to physically attack Trowa simply because he did not want the situation worse... but now his hands curled up into fists, and he was very tempted to do anything he could to get by the green-eyed wall. Somehow, he managed to control himself... but he did not know how much longer he could ... how much longer he would want to.  
  
Half an hour later, Heero was pacing, yet he never let Trowa out of his vision. The predatory look Heero kept giving him made Trowa edgy, but he couldn't say he didn't understand why he was doing it. Guilt, rage, and fear built up in Heero as time passed... but all that registered on his face was the rage.  
  
At last, Quatre came jogging up. Once Heero saw him behind Trowa, he demanded, "What the happened?!"  
  
Quatre hesitated. He was not used to Heero being so... angry. "They don't know yet... they're going to put him under observation... At the least, the superfical work's been torn.. if that's it, then it's nothing. If his blood pressure starts to drop, though, they'll have to operate again."  
  
"When will we know?" Heero said, just as Trowa moved out of the way, so Quatre could enter the room. 'At least I know he's still alive... no thanks to me..' he thought to himself.  
  
"Within 48 hours... but we won't be allowed to see him. He won't be allowed visitors until he's stronger..." Quatre saw the fury in Heero's eyes deepen, and though he did not want to upset him further, he had to tell them both what else he found out.  
  
"Also, I got a message.... After a meeting with Sally, Wufei got a pardon from the Preventers, and they stipped him of his rank.... He'll be released tomarrow afternoon."  
  
~~~end  
  
Chibi Hwoarang:Why are you making Trowa a hellavalot like Quatre should be...?  
SnK:Because I'm all powerful.... *glares* Got a problem with that?!  
*Chibi Hwoarang looks like he's going to say something nasty, but Kilik covers his mouth before he really pisses SnK off, resulting in her turning everyone into harmless pink bunnies.. when Hwoarang stops his muffled curses, Kilik lets go.*  
SnK: *sighing, depressed*...I've got so much work to do...  
Chibi Hwoarang: Who's fault is that...?  
SnK:Shut up... I'll try to get the next part out quickly (providing I have reviewer encouragement) ... I'll try for Friday, at least, but I doubt I'll make it... Possibly Sunday at the latest, but since I'm destined to be dragged away from computers with internet access, so I make no promises.  
  
So, what do you think? Anticlamatic? Needs lots of work? Think I should wave a little white flag in surrender and give up? Review, please, please, please.....! Or you'll be waiting awhile...  
  
  
  



	9. Here Then Gone part 9

Kilik:Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of mor-- what the hell is that?!?  
SnK:*pets large dog-like spiney creature with glowing red eyes and pair huge sickle like claws that fuction septerately from its 4 other limbs* It's my new pet Zergling...  
Zergling:KKkkkktttt!  
ChibiHwoarang:*backs slowly away*  
SnK:You don't have to worry! ... unless you annoy me, of course.  
ChibiHwoarang:*starts to run far away*  
Kilik:y-yea.... umm... A friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, multilingual cussing, and angst.  
SnK:This wasn't posted Sunday because of Starcraft and a project I'm helpin' out on.... sorry, minna... *sighs* I can never get anything out on time.... Anyway, the start of this fic is going a little bit back in time from the end of the last one... just a little heads up so I don't confuse you all entirely....  
  
  
Here Then Gone part 9  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze  
  
  
"I can't believe you!", Sally said once the police at left them. She had had a hard time wrapping her head around to the report handed to her. This was not at all like Wufei. She simply could not believe it, but the evidence was there, so she could not deny it, either. "Why, Wufei? Attempted murder...? Why..?"  
  
Wufei did not met Sally's eyes. He couldn't met anyone's eyes. He was far too ashamed of what he had done to let anyone see his face. "...long story.."  
  
"We both have time. Explain."  
  
Wufei sighed, the memories rushing through his head, replaying themselves yet again. "... I fell in love with Du--Maxwell...," the weight of that simple statement caused Wufei to pause. There was only one other person to whom he'd admitted that to... now he couldn't even call Duo by his first name. Any right to do that... to refer to him with such familiarity... he'd killed with that damnable knife. At least he knew he hadn't killed Duo; a patrol officer had come in and informed him that the braided boy was in stable condition.  
  
Sally waited for him, not asking any questions. She was just about to prompt him to continue, when Wufei started to speak once more, "...you hear about Yuy's suicide attempt and coma...?" Sally nodded. ".. did you know he has amnesia...?" Sally shook her head. It was the first time she'd heard of that.  
  
"Yea... he only forgot Duo.. knew the rest of us perfectly. Well, Duo was trying to get him to remember, rebuild their friendship... Heero treated.. well, Heero treated him like shit, never cooperating and only offering his insults rather than his feelings. 'Til.. 'til one day they met alone, to see if they could work something out.. when I saw Duo afterwards.. there was a large bruise ... that lok chat* had hit him! .. and yet Duo still cared about him! Cared about the lun-yeung** who'd hurt him... instead of me... so I got upset.. and I started drinking.... I wan't thinking clearly... I saw Yuy looking for Duo, and it made me so angry. I attacked him.. and... and Duo got in the way..." Wufei blurted it all out at once, so he wouldn't be interrupted. Sally sat quietly, taking it all in.  
  
"Did you ever tell Duo how you felt..?" Sally murmered, finally breaking the absolute silence that had taken hold of the room.  
  
Wufei shook his head mournfully, "Not until it was too late... I was cowardly.. I was afraid!"  
  
Sally looked at Wufei, face bent over his lap, sublty shaking.. though Sally could not tell if he was crying or not. She felt for him, she truely did. She wished there was something she could do that would undo the past, and make things right for him. But she had no such power, what she did have, though, was a job to do.   
  
"Wufei... I'm sure Duo will forgive you..., " and she was. She wasn't so sure what Heero would do, though.. "... I've come here to tell you that the Preventers agency is having you released with a full pardon."  
  
Wufei looked up at her, eyes wide and sparking with unshed tears... so he hadn't been crying... "Why?!" He did not deserve to be freed.. he deserved to pay for his crime, at the very least!  
  
"The Preventers are still young... news about a Preventers member serveing time for attempted murder and assult would be very damaging... the politicans might back out on us, and we'd lose our funding. Also, you're a very valuable member. We can't find someone of your skill and experience just anywhere... the punishment you shall recieve from us is the stripping of your rank." Sally saw the pain in his onyx eyes, "Knowing the type of person you are, Wufei, the punishment you will put yourself through is more than enough." Sally stood up, and Wufei was speechless. "You'll be released at one tomarrow. Within two weeks following you are to report to a Preventers branch nearest you." With that, Sally left him.   
  
Soon, Wufei was taken back to his cell by a pair of guards  
  
---  
  
Heero sat up against the door leading to the section of the hospital where Duo supposedly was, somewhere.. being watched for signs of internal bleeding. Heero was thinking about what he was going to do.. about the future.  
  
What Trowa had told him occupied most of his thoughts. How could he learn not to hurt Duo anymore? He needed help sorting out his feeling.. how was he supposed to know how to avoid trampling all over someone else's?  
  
Another thing that worried him was Wufei. Not only what he would do... but if Duo loved him. Heero decided he'd have to try to entirely cut off his emotions.. try to go back to the way he'd been. He hated himself when he was like that, but it would be the only way he could stand it. Trowa had already pointed out how much pain it would cause Duo if he killed himself... and Heero would do anything to keep Duo from pain... he'd been the soruce of too much of it, anyway.  
  
---  
  
It was 12 hours since Wufei had been released from prison, 1 in the morning... Heero could not stand it anymore. He'd checked the hospital's computers and found out exactly where Duo was. Sneaking by hospital secrutiy was child's play. Since Duo was probably asleep, he'd never even have to know Heero was there... no one did. There shouldn't've been a problem with that.  
  
The problem came when he he checked down the hallway and caught sight of an onyx queue. Heero stayed where he was, hidden around a corner, wondering what he'd do. Wufei had stabbed Duo.. but Wufei had been intended to stab him to protect Duo... but that was when Wufei was drunk... should he get Wufei away from Duo, or leave knowing he was being watched over by someone who cared...?  
  
Considering Wufei's current record, and his own anger that still lingered from the attack, there was only one choice.  
  
"Wufei." The Chinese boy whipped around at the sound of Heero's voice. He had been gazing through the window at Duo's pale form... seeing what he'd wrought. Wufei looked him straight in the eyes. He was still incredibly angry with Yuy...only slightly less than with himself... he spoke with the same calm and cold voice, "Yuy."  
  
"You aren't supposed to be here."   
"Neither are you."  
  
Each waited for the other to make a move that they could interpret at even partially threatening so they could decend upon each other like rabid dogs.  
  
Finally, Wufei spoke, "Why do you care about him, all of a sudden..?" Then, narrowing his eyes, he added icily "You did not seem to care for him much when you hit him, Yuy."  
  
Heero's fists clenched, and he glared at Wufei, tone remaining cool, "I remember him now, and I do not feel comfortable with letting the person who put him here near him now when he's helpless."  
  
Wufei snarled, not at all being reminded of his failure by Yuy of all people, "You have no idea what it's like to feel the way I do, you don't know anything... You would not have sat idly by as someone left their mark all on his face!"  
  
"You're right, I would not have been idle. But I would not have nearly killed him!" Both Heero and Wufei were beginning to lose their composure as their tempers flared, and the volumes of their voices rose. Had they been debating over any other thing, they would have been able to control themselves perfectly... but now all their training and self disipline fled in the wake of their emotions.  
  
"You know damn well that was an accident... "  
  
"Yes, you'd rather have killed me. Why would I entrust Duo's saftey to a -murderer-?"  
  
Wufei's eyes widened, "Poq Gai! ... I admit it was a mistake, but I am no murderer! You don't know what it's like!"  
  
"I think I have a good idea..." Heero paused a moment, then met Wufei straight in the eyes, and said softer than the tone he'd been using eariler, "I love him." It was becoming easier to say those words... they felt right.  
  
Wufei was taken aback, then he hissed, "You don't know the meaning of the word... You forgot him! You hit him! At least I did not attack him directly... no, that was you, lun tao! If anyone is going to kill him, it's you and your 'love'!"  
  
"Kisama!"  
  
"Sek si!"  
  
Before they completely lost control, before they ran at each other ready to tear the head of the other, something stopped them dead in their tracks. It was the only thing that could. The load and steady tone of a flatline, coming from Duo's room.  
  
Wufei immediately burst through the door, followed a second later by Heero, the two nearly tearing the thing from it's hinges, their adrenaline ran so high. Both were met by Duo's angry, tired eyes.  
  
Both of them averted their gaze, as Duo tossed aside the heartmoniter equipment that had been attached to him. Duo had only been conscious for part of their coversation, and he'd known where it was heading. So he did the only thing he knew of to stop them in time... When were they going to learn?! Right now he was not concerned at all with which one he loved ... he was concerned with making the two most imporant people in his life stop trying to kill eachother! He was extremely pissed off.. it was the only way he'd been able to fight through the heavy drug haze he'd been put under so he'd be unable to stress himself to much... so he'd heal... lot of good it was doing.  
  
"...l-look...at...me..." Duo had to force the words from his throat.. had to try to make them not so slurred they were nonsense, and loud enough to be heard over the heartmonitor's tone.. he was so tired... but he couldn't let these two kill eachother... especially over him. They both reluctantly obeyed. "...this...waits....'til...I...'m... out.. of... h-h-here." Just then the hospital staff came crashing in, and pushed Heero and Wufei out of the room.  
  
Once they figured out that there was no medical emergency, the nurses left to attend other duties, while the doctor in charge of Duo's treatment came out to have a talk with the two bewildered boys.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?! Are you -trying- to kill him?! You're not supposed to be back here for a reason! I just had to put him under again... another incident like this and I'll have to put him in restraints.. I don't think he wants that. Do you? ... He'll never get better this way!" The doctor screamed at the both of them. He had had more than enough close calls with this particular patient's life... and now these adolesents continued to complicate matters!  
  
Both Heero and Wufei had nothing to say to that, and both were frozen in place. After a few more moments of silence the doctor growled, "Are you going to get out, or do I have to get security?"   
  
The two teens both started away, defeated and ashamed. They both realized how much they were acting like children, and how close they came to ripping out their friend's heart. Neither would say anything to the other... both were too occupied with their thoughts.. with what Duo had said. They were both resolved to do as he wished, both because of how they'd each helped place him in this situation...  
  
It was going to be a long wait.  
  
~~~end  
  
SnK:meh srry it's short... but I think the next part may be the last... finally! And I'm not even going to give an estimate as to when it'll be out... mostly, because whenever I do, it's always late.  
Zergling:Kkkktttccckkkkttt!!  
SnK:Yea.. I know... what to do... ? This sucks, the situation I've put myself into. I should have just killed him... things would have been so much simpler. I love them both, 1x2 and 5x2... damn it all! oh, well.... I guess I should tell you about all those things Wufei was saying in Cantonese (spelled more or less phonetically..)  
  
* lok chat = dick  
** leung-yun = dickface  
Poq Gai = go die in the street (can be used like 'you Bastard!' or 'shit!')  
lun tao = dickhead  
sek si = eat shit  
  
Courtesy of Scritch's Multilingual Swear list (http://members.home.net/scritch/swear.html). So, I dunno if those are even right.. but I didn't even get to use my favorite Cantonese ones I saw there.. things like Dieu lay lo mo hum ga chan, chan lay lo mo sheung tian pang, pang lay lo mo lok guy wan, wan lay lo mo bo lin chan and hum kah chan....  
  
Now that I'm done boring you with Chinese insults I couldn't use, please review! As always, it affects how fast I work... I tend to put it off easier if there aren't that many reviews... please? or else the Zergling may get you!  
Zergling:*opens mouth, drooling at the thought of food* Kkkkkkttt! *clicks claws together*  
  



	10. Here Then Gone part 10

Kilik:Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing, or a good alibi  
SnK:Damn, I'm really sorry about the lateness of this... but started to wirte a couple versions, and then paused two of them, and only worked on the third... all this during a time when my teachers realized they haven't done 1/2 of what they should have accomplished by now, so assinged it all during the week. Rolling blackouts and events I wasn't aware I was going to didn't help either... I wish I was makin' it all up, but sadly, I'm not.  
Chibi Hwoarang:*opens mouth* We--  
Zergling:KKKKkktttt!  
Chibi Hwoarang:*shuts up*  
SnK:I love Zerglings. *makes fresh, raw meat appear for it*  
Zergling:*eyes glow faintly, does a strange immitation of a purr* kkkrrrrrrrr..  
Chibi Hwoarang: You never feed me!   
SnK:You don't deserve it.  
Kilik:What about me...?  
SnK:*shrugs* Why not? *snaps fingers and pocky appears in Kilik's hands*  
Chibi Hwoarang:Damn it!  
SnK:Never be back to normal size unless you quit complaining...  
Kilik:*mouth full of pocky* Friendly... 'minder... dish.. fic *gulps* contains shounen ai, cussing, and angst.  
  
Here Then Gone part 10  
The Finale  
by Shinigami no Kamikaze  
  
  
Wufei had gotten an extention of his time relieved from his work at the Preventers.. although, he was unsure what he'd be doing when he got back. Sally was angry. Noin was angry. Everyone was angry, and mostly at him... none of them understood. None of them even knew about what Heero had done to Duo.  
  
The passage of time was agonizingly slow. Seconds each lasted a millenia, minutes and hours their own eternities. He was not allowed to see Duo, talk to Duo. He could not even send a note to him.  
  
This waiting was killing him slowly... not knowing was killing him slowly. He still did not even know if he'd ever had a chance, if Duo even liked other men. And, how much did Duo hate him now...?  
  
No... no, Duo wasn't like that. Duo would understand it was all a horrible, horrible mistake, right? Wasn't that one of the many qualities he loved about Duo? ...or, would he be angry... possibly disgusted..? What he did to Duo was certainly unforgivable...  
  
Looking down at his precious picture frame with the sacred image of the Shinigami, he sighed. He had no right to keep it now, no matter what Duo said when he was released. He stood up from his uncomfortable hotel room bed, and picture in hand, he headed toward Duo's room.  
  
He slid the spare key that Duo had entrusted to him in what seemed like the distant past thru the lockng mechanism on the door. Opening the door, he was shocked to see Heero Yuy already there, staring blankly from Duo's bed, a pillow in his hands.  
  
Both Heero and Wufei had been carefully avoiding each other. Wufei was too proud to discuss the whole situation to Yuy. Heero was too uncomfortable and unsure about his feelings and weaknesses to explain things to Wufei. Each was still angry with the other, but time had allowed their feelings to cool a little bit...  
  
Wufei was not in a mood to fight. Depression had depleted his energy, and he knew it would upset Duo. Heero didn't seem to notice him, did not even glance in his direction, which was strange. Wufei said softly, but without anger or accusation, "Yuy."  
  
Heero blinked, and looked over at the Chinese boy. "What are you doing here?" Heero used his monotone voice, so it was impossible for Wufei to tell if he was upset at the intrusion or not.  
  
"I could ask you the same."  
  
Heero looked over at him blankly, "Planning on staying in the doorway?"  
  
Taking the hint and accepting the change of subject for the moment, Wufei stepped inside, closing the door behind him. As he walked in, he was careful to keep the picture out of Heero's line of sight. He did not really wish to share the picture with anyone but Duo.  
  
Wufei pulled up a chair from a table, and sat down, placing the picture frame face down on his lap. After a few moments of silence, he asked, "What -are- you doing here?"  
  
Heero glanced at Wufei, then back to the front of the room."I asked first."  
  
Wufei wondered for a moment how much he should say about his reasons. Giving the picture back was simply an excuse to himself so he could spend some time here, where some of Duo's personal things were still scattered around... "Fair enough. I came here to return something."  
  
"I didn't think you were the type to break in, no matter what the reason."  
  
Although Heero had not said it aggressively, the accusation agitated Wufei and he spat back almost instantly, "I am not! Duo gave me the spare key... I did not force my way in, unlike you."  
  
Heero looked back at Wufei, "I did not mean to upset you. It was just an observation. I did not have all the facts..."  
  
Wufei glared at him for a few moments before he calmed down enough for his voice to become neutral again. Then he repeated his question, "What are you doing here?"  
  
Heero looked down at the pillow and after a short period of time began to speak, "I can't get him off my mind. I ...", he trailed off, not wanting to admit any of his fears to Wufei, who at the least, was his competition, and at the worst, his enemy. Of course, Duo had no reason to care for either of them... least of all him, who seemed to abandon Duo every chance he got. First he left at the end of the war without so much as an extra word to Duo, then at the end of the Mariemaia incident, and then his amnesia...  
  
He was here because it was easy to pretend that Duo could come bouncing in at any moment. He'd made sure none of the maids touched the place. Even the pillow he now held smelled faintly like Duo. It was his last taste of Duo before Duo kicked him out of his life... "I wanted to be here."  
  
Was that a slight tremor Wufei had heard in Heero's voice? Was he serious when he claimed to love Duo...? Did he have even half of Wufei's feelings for the braided boy...?  
  
If that was ture, then there was still something strange.."Why did you hit Duo? Don't tell me that he startled you... you can pull a punch faster than that, Heero."  
  
There was a long silence. This wasn't exactly a person he trusted, not anymore. Showing weakness was extremely hard for Heero, showing weakness to an enemy went against his every instinct. But, would it be better if he could make Wufei understand?  
  
Finally, Wufei began to speak, "You know I love him, right? ... well, I cannot believe what you have done are the actions of a man in love. I want Duo to be happy and safe... the last part is the part I am most unsure of when it comes to you. Trying to kill you was wrong, drinking until my mind was too fogged to realize that was wrong, but... I will not let anyone hurt Duo. If you hurt him again, I will take action... although, this experience has taught me I shall not take such a rash and foolhardy action. But I will not allow it to continue, or allow it to go unpunished."  
  
Heero saw the sincerity in Wufei's eyes. He had admitted he had been mistaken to try to kill him... that was as close to an apology he'd ever get from Wufei, Heero knew, but he never expected Wufei to say even that much. Maybe he was wrong about Wufei... he was still angry, but not as much.  
  
There was another long silence. Just as Wufei got up to leave, deciding to give the picture frame to Duo directly or wait until Heero left the room, Heero started to speak, never lifting his eyes from his pillow. "He scared me..." Heero spoke without much feeling, but so softly Wufei almost did not hear it. Slowly, he returned to his seat, intent on listening.  
  
"... I didn't understand what it was for a long time. When Duo was gone, it hurt. Nothing like any pain I have ever known. Not like the pain that came with self destruction... not the pain of illness... something else."  
  
Wufei knew that pain all too well, and he was quiet a moment, "...then maybe you can be what Duo derserves.... Just know, I do not forgive you, I do not forgive myself... not now, possibly with time." Getting up once more, Wufei silently walked to the door, "But it does not matter. I can leave it behind if you... and Duo.. can do the same". With that, he left, trusting Heero alone with Duo's possessions.  
  
This was a problem. If Heero really loved Duo... could he take it if Duo's feelings were for Heero?  
  
---  
  
Duo had been spending his few clear headed waking hours wondering just what the hell he was going to do. He did not yet know his own feelings, but they would expect an answer.. wouldn't they?   
  
Or did he love them.... at least, in that way? He had strong feelings for each, that was for certain.. but, he had not given too much thought to a romantic relationship with either. Mostly likey because he hadn't been ready to commit to anything. He was too busy exploring and experiencing the world, what it was like when it was peaceful. It wasn't like he'd been able to do much of that during the war, ne?  
  
Now... with both of their confessions weighing him down.. damn it, he didn't know!  
  
He was ready, though. He had had enough of being single. He was ready to try trusting his heart to someone else... regardless of the times he'd been hurt during his childhood. He wasn't going to let that keep him from anything anymore, and he was sure that those who had died would not have wanted him to, either.  
  
By this time, Duo had gotten stronger. In fact, the very next day the hospital would release him. They brought him a phone so he could arrange to have someone pick him up, if he liked. Since he still wasn't 100% better, he thought it might be best not to test himself out by walking to the hotel on his own.  
  
After being put on hold awhile, Quatre's face appeaered on the small screen on the vidphone. It immediately lifted. "Duo!"  
  
Duo grinned, "Hey, Quatre! 'Sup?" He was still a little worried that Heero and Wufei might have tried to rip eachother apart again.  
  
"Everything's fine.. I haven't seen you in ages! How are you? Are you alright? Do you need anything?"  
  
Duo couldn't help but laugh a little. Quatre was entirely too concerned and worried about everything. It was just the way he was. "I'm fine... alright enough that they're lettin' me outta this place at last! How's about picking me up at one tomarrow, hmm..? Ole buddy, ole pal...?"  
  
Now Quatre laughed. Now he knew Duo was alright.. there was even that happy little spark in his eyes. "Of course!"  
  
Then Quatre was surprized at the sudden serious-ish (Duo rarely was 100% solemn) look on his face. He was a little worred. "Mind keepin' it a secret from Wufei 'n' Heero...? Don't think I'm quite ready to seem them yet... and I wanna talk to you, if you can find the time."  
  
Quatre nodded, "I can always find time for you, Duo."  
  
Duo smiled, and waved, "Then see ya at one! Thanks, Q-man, you're the best!"  
  
Quatre smiled softly in return, "Sure, Duo. I'll see you then." Then he cut off the connection. He was not exactly sure of the situation between those three... he was unsure if he should be relieved now that Duo was better, or more worried that the source of tention between Wufei and Heero was coming back... It was not Duo's fault that he caused conflict between the two... but...  
  
Well... only time would tell.  
  
---  
  
Once Quatre and Duo got into the car, Duo had become unusually silent. Actually, he'd been quiet since they'd agreed the second they got back to Quatre's room, they'd talk. Duo didn't want to wait because he couldn't avoid Wufei and Heero for long once they figured out he wasn't hospitalized any more.  
  
Quatre was driving, since he did like to do some things for himself. He also wasn't going to drag some poor soul all the way to an L1 colony just to drive him places! The silence seemed so out of place, considering Duo was right there, and Quatre become more worried than he was before.  
  
He let the silence reign until they successfully got into Quatre's room without running into Wufei or Heero. The moment the door closed, Duo began pacing, but quickly stopped since it was tiring and aggrivated his sore abdomen. Quatre sat down, and patiently waited for Duo to either calm down, or start talking.  
  
Duo fell heavily into a chair, "Quatre, I've got a huge problem... but promise me ya won't share anything I tell ya, kay?"  
  
Quatre nodded solemnly. "Of course.. if you don't want me to."  
  
Duo smiled slightly, "Thanks Quatre." Then smile then faded from his face.  
  
Quatre knew about Heero's suicide attempt, the amnesia, Heero hitting Duo, and that Wufei had stabbed Duo. That was basically all he did know, though, and Duo filled him in on some details before touching the subject of his problem.  
  
"Heero and Wufei are the two most important people in my life. Heero I thought of as my best friend all throughout the war, even if he didn't seem to feel the same... and after Wufei lived with me on L2, he started to become my closest friend and confidant..."  
  
"When Wufei saw that bruise, he just lost it. That's why he went drinking, and that's why he tried to kill Heero... when I got in the way... that look of absolute horror on his face... it hurt just as bad as that knife. Then he told me he loved me... then he kissed me.. and that's about the time Heero jumped him...."  
  
"Then, that time I was trying to call Heero back... that was because he told me he loved me, too... then he tried to skip out on me... guess my being shocked speechless didn't do much for his confidence." Duo felt bad about just staring at Heero like that. It must have been difficult to say to him... if only his mind wasn't so fogged up.. if only he could've thought a little faster!   
  
"The next time I woke up, they were outside my room, ready to kill each other after I went through all that just to stop them from killing each other!" Even though Duo was trying to cover up how much that upset him, Quatre could see right through it.  
  
To Duo, it wasn't the physical wounds that his friends had given him that made this situation unbareable. He'd already forgiven them for those. He knew Wufei didn't mean it, that he was drunk, and appearently struggling to deal with powerful emotions. Heero he'd freaked somehow, and Heero hadn't even trusted him at the time, so his reaction was only to be expected...   
  
The fighting, though... it was tearing him up emotionally. He hated it. He didn't want his friends hurt... and least of all by other friends. The worst part of it was it was because of him! He wasn't sure if he could take another person close to him dying like that. He didn't want to have to go through that Hell again.  
  
"... I... Quatre, I'm sure I love one of them in the way they want me to love them... I want to have a relationship... but I don't know with whom, and what the hell happens to the other one?" Duo was shaking.. he wasn't sure if it was the stress of it all, or just because he'd already overextended himself today... probably a combination of both.  
  
'This is bad,' Quatre thought simply to himself. He wasn't sure himself how he'd proceed. Although he knew that Wufei and Heero could not help their emotions, this put Duo in a horrible position. They did not have to be so aggresive about it... Quatre became very worried when he saw Duo start to tremble. "Duo...." Quatre said softly. He, at least, had to try to make sure Duo didn't work himself up anymore.  
  
Standing up, Quatre walked over to Duo, and put an arm around him, trying to comfort him a little, "Duo.... the first thing you have to do is get your feelings straightened out. You should probably talk to each of them alone for awhile before you decide...."  
  
"Sounds like an interview."  
  
"...It is, in a way... but you have to figure out what you want. Don't let them pressure you.... as for whomever is left over..." Quatre sighed. There was no easy way to do this, "You owe it to them to let them know where you stand... it is true they'll probably be hurt... but it would be unfair for the both of you to be in a relationship that doesn't go both ways, and in the end it woud hurt you both more."  
  
Rubbing one of his temples, Duo let out a soft breath. Whatever happened, it wasn't going to be pretty... but what Quatre said did seem to make sense. "Thanks, Quatre... I owe you one." At least he had some direction and plan of action now...  
  
Still worried, since Duo hadn't stopped shaking, Quatre made the quiet suggestion that Duo lay down for awhile and get some rest. Reluctantly agreeing, Duo let the blonde lead him to the bed, and after pulling his boots off, he laid down. Without meaning to, he quickly fell asleep.  
  
Quatre thought it was probably for the best..... anyway, there was an extra bed in the room... and Heero and Wufei would not exactly be looking for Duo here.   
  
---  
  
Soft rays of what passed for sunlight in the colony seeped through the thin curtains covering the large glass windows on one side of the room. Quatre had pulled back the heavier curtains since he liked the colony's lighting, even if it was synthetic. Duo groaned softly from where he was, relucant to awaken to reality and the decisions he was going to have to make.   
  
Blinking, he realized it wasn't his room. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes. Then he blinked to clear his vision a couple more times, and saw Quatre smiling softly from a table covered in papers, looking like he'd just paused in doing whatever paperwork was right there in front of him. "Good morning."  
  
Duo mumbled a response, but it was too slurred with grogginess for Quatre to tell exactly what it was. Then he said, "Sorry 'bout passin' out like that."  
  
"It's okay, Duo. I don't mind... Do you want some breakfast?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'll get it myself. Don't wanna be bugging you forever, Quatre... and anyway, I need to head back to my room so I can take a shower, 'n' all." Duo kicked his feet out from under the covers, and got up, looking for his shoes. He was well aware his hair must look like a disaster area, and his clothes would be all rumpled. Glancing at the clock, Duo muttered, "Man... I can't believe I slept that long."  
  
"You've been under alot of physical and emotional stress, Duo. It's hardly surprizing." Quatre glanced back down at the paper in front of him, going over the figures. "And you're not bothering me. I'd be glad to share breakfast with you, since I haven't eaten yet myself. If you'd care to drop by before 8:30, then my offer still stands."  
  
Duo pulled on his boots, after carefully kneeling down to pick them up, as to not agrrivate his still sore abdomen more than he had to. "Thanks for everything, Quatre. Just might take you up on that." Quatre looked up and smiled... partially because of the interesting way pieces of Duo's hair were arranged. Duo waved, and with that left the room, and headed for his door.  
  
To his surprize, the door was slightly ajar, being held only a crack open by a doorstop. Well, that solved the problem of his not having a key... but why was it open?  
  
Silently opening the door, Duo crept into the room, and just a quietly shut the door all the way closed. Walking to the dresser so he could get himself a fresh set of clothing, he was surprized to see a a body tangled up in sheets on his bed. And not just any body, an extremly attractive body. One that Duo realized belonged to Heero.  
  
Well, as long as it wasn't some deranged psychopath....err... it wasn't some deranged psychopath he didn't know, he was still going to shower and get dressed.  
  
Pulling open a drawer, he took out whatever was there. Since 80% of all his clothing was black, and everything went with black, usually he didn't have to spend that much time thinking about coordinating shits and pants.  
  
Then he got into the bathroom, dumped the clothing on the tiled floor. After shutting the door, he stood their thinking a moment about whether he should lock it or not. He trusted Heero, but... Heero tended to have a different idea of what was proper and decent compared with the rest of society... and then again, if Heero wanted in, a little hotel doorlock wasn't going to stop him. Deciding not to bother, he went about the task of brushing his teeth.  
  
---  
  
The sound of running water woke Heero up. Sitting straight up in the bed immediately, Heero wondered who it could be... was it Duo?  
  
He'd left the door open for him. He'd seen Duo's key on the dresser, and Wufei'd told him about having the spare, so he'd realized Duo was keyless. He also figured anyone who came in that he didn't want to come in he could easily take care of. Looking over at the door, he saw it was closed.  
  
The water sound was definately the shower. The only other person that would come into this room quietly enough not to have woken him was Wufei, but he would not shower in Duo's room. At least, Heero high doubted that he would.  
  
Duo in the shower. Ashamed somewhat to admit, Heero had thought of that image before. A number of times before. It was tempting, to say the least... especially considering in all possibitly when Duo came out, he'd tell Heero to get the hell out of his life. It might be nice to make one of his dreams about Duo true before then. But he wouldn't dare... he didn't want Duo any more upset than he was, especially considering all he'd already done to him.  
  
Running a hand through his hair, Heero got up from the bed. Would Duo be angry that he'd spent a few nights in here? Maybe it was best that he go now. Heero intended to do just that when his legs wouldn't move, refusing the commands his brain gave to them. He was stuck in place, not wanting to leave. He had to see Duo. He had needed to see Duo these past weeks, this was his chance. He would not run away again.  
  
The shower turned off, and a little while after that a hair dryer went on. Some time after that, it went off as well and then there was another wait... finally, the door swung open to reveal Duo, looking much healthier than before, but still a little paler and thinner than normal.  
  
Once his eyes rested upon Heero for a moment, Duo treated Heero to a large grin. Heero was surprized, though he figured he shouldn't be. That was the way Duo was... but could it mean he wasn't as angry as Heero'd originally thought?  
  
"Hey Heero! Mind if I ask ya what you were doin' here?" Duo's voice wasn't accusing, just purely curious.  
  
Heero thought a moment before choosing his words, "I ... missed you."  
  
"I missed ya, too, Heero..... you have no idea how boring that hospital was... " Duo trailed off while glancing off the his right with a far away look in his eyes. Heero worried some, then Duo glanced right back at him, and walked staight up to Heero, not stopping until their faces were only a couple inches away. Heero was a little uncertain of what Duo was doing, so didn't move... after a moment, he met Duo's eyes straight on and started to lose himself in the violet depths.  
  
Duo marveled at the change in Heero's eyes since last he saw them. Once again he could peer behind the tranquil and controlled surface to the tumultuous sea of emotion Heero might have been unware he possesed. If he did, he did a damn good job hiding it...  
  
Heero was freed from his trance when Duo looked away, and fell lazily onto his bed (biting down on a wince as he hit it, completely having forgot about his still hurting body..) and stared at the ceiling, "So, what happened while I was gone, Heero?" Duo wasn't exactly sure how to go about talking to Heero about emotions... so he just talked to buy him some time to come up with something.  
  
Walking up beside the bed, he looked at Duo, all sprawled out. A part of him wanted so badly to be on that bed as well... "Nothing of much importance... except for Wufei and I have come ... somewhat... an understanding."  
  
Heero saw the surprize in Duo eyes, "What is it?"  
  
"...Duo... I am ... I didn't.. When I hit--"  
  
"Oh, that? It doesn't matter, I know you were under pressure, and I shouldn't have done that.... not like it's gonna become regular practice, ne? ... 'Cause if it does, I won't heistate in kickin' your ass.... The only thing I've still been upset about is the fighting between you and Wufei... so, have you guys got it cleared up?" Heero heard the hopeful note in Duo's voice.  
  
"I think if you can let it go, we all can."  
  
Duo gazed up at Heero standing up above, and sighing happily, smiled. "That's good." Then Duo's face looked somwhat uncertain, and he chewed on his lip a little. Once again Heero found his eyes locked with Duo, "Heero... I need to know... about what you said at the hospitial..."  
  
Heero had been secretly hoping that somehow Duo had forgotten about that. It surprized him... although he was nevous, unlike with the others he had tried to explain to he did not feel the need to look away from Duo's intent gaze. "I ment it. I least, I think I do. My training..." Heero decided now was not the time to elaborate on what Duo already knew, " I haven't felt anything like this in so long....  
  
"It started during the war. I felt empty when you weren't around.... I was.. unsure. I left after the war to get away, hoping to get back to normal. Then it just began to hurt..."  
  
Duo's expression was unreadable. He simply asked, "Why didn't you tell me anything about this sooner..?"  
  
"I was afraid and uncertain. I didn't want to... ruin... things with you with unnatural emotion." Heero was surprized with how quickly he admitted that to Duo. He did not want to show weakness, but he couldn't hide anything from Duo... he trusted Duo completely.   
  
"It isn't unnatural!!" Duo looked a little angry, and when he saw the unsure look in Heero's eyes, his expression softened, "It's completely human, and you. are. human. No matter what occured during your training... you're still human. You might not be as used to it as some of the rest of us, but that doesn't make you any less of a person."  
  
"Then why do emotions hurt so much if they're natural?"  
  
Duo looked hurt himself, he said quietly, "Did it only hurt?"  
  
"No!" The strength behind Heero's answer eased Duo somewhat. "When I was with you... I ... It was.. like nothing else. I felt at ease, safe..." Heero almost whispered, "..happy."  
  
Duo was quiet a few moments. "Well, Heero, good comes with the bad. Can't have one without the other, unfortunately..." Duo knew well about the ups and downs of emotions, and the danger involved in loving someone. Much to Heero's relief, Duo didn't seem to be angry with -him- for his feelings. It lifted a huge weight form his shoulders he didn't know was there... but there was still doubt and fear in him... he didn't know what would happen now. Did Duo love him?  
  
"Just one more question, for now, Heero..." Duo held up a hand, "Help me up..?"  
  
Duo was planning on purposely pulling too hard on Heero so one of two things would happen: Heero would be dragged down onto the bed with him, or he'd be propelled straight into Heero. Duo wanted to know how Heero would react, and hopefully what it felt like to be in Heero's arms. When Heero grasped his offered hand, he pulled with all he had (which was less then he usually had..) just as Heero started to pull, too. Heero didn't fall down, and Duo hadn't really expected him to, so he crashed right into Heero, groaning softly as is injury did the same (he kept forgetting about that).  
  
Heero was a little startled, and he put his other arm around Duo to steady him, as Duo placed an arm around him to do thing (at least, that's what Heero thought). Having Duo so close... Heero did not want it to end. Feeling him right there, the heat from his body, the soft feel of the braid that brushed agaist his arm... his mind told him this was right. Twinges of pleasure ran through him, and Heero suddenly found himself hoping that it wouldn't result in a physical reaction of his body while Duo was still standing right there... if Duo wasn't upset now, he might not be that understanding if he felt -that-.  
  
Duo's hand around slipped away, and with some reluctancy, Heero's did as well, "Are you okay, Duo?" He hadn't missed Duo's groan.  
  
"I'm fine. Sorry 'bout that, Heero." Duo stepped back a little, disappointing Heero by widening the gap between them.  
  
With an abnormal expression of seriousness, Duo spoke. "Heero, I'm glad you told me everything you did... I have things to tell you... be to tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure what they are right now... so it'll have to wait." The expression then melted away as Duo smiled a little, "Right now I have to go tell Wu-man I'm back." Duo hoped that Heero didn't take it the wrong way... but he needed to know.  
  
Heero watched helplessly as Duo left the room, remembering his key this time. Insecurites started to try to take root in Heero, and he let them.... what happened if Duo didn't love him? What happened if he loved Wufei...?  
  
---  
  
Wufei heard the knocking on his door. Rising up slowly from the bed, he dragged himself to the door. He'd been in a deep depression. Everything in his life seemed to be going wrong. Once he saw it was Duo outside his door, his heart practically leaped out of his chest.  
  
"Hey Wufei!" Duo grinned that idiotic grin Wufei loved so much. Wufei was surprized... Duo did not seem to be upset with him. He just stood there in shock for a few moment before Duo said, "...mind if I come in?"  
  
Numbly Wufei nodded, and Duo practically bounced in.  
  
"Duo... I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am, and I don't expect you--"  
  
"Stabbing thing? I forgive you." Duo said it so lightly... as if it wasn't a earthshattering occurance, like it was.  
  
"but, I--"  
  
"It's over with, Wufei. I'm fine, Heero's fine, you're fine... I don't see the point in draggin' it around like a ball and chain, do you?"  
  
Wufei was quiet a few moments. While he did not know if he could forgive himself as easily as Duo could, it was certain that he did, in fact, forgive him. That was enough for Wufei to let it go.. for now, at least. "I guess you're right."  
  
Duo leaned against the wall. "So, Wufei... I heard you and Heero got an agreement?"  
  
"Yes. He knows what to expect from me now. I understand why he did what he did. If you can forgive, then so can I."  
  
Duo smiled at him. Wufei treasured that smile. "That's good... what I came here to talk to you about, though, is what you said that day..."  
  
Wufei looked away knowing immediately what Duo was refering to, "You remember?"  
  
"Yep. Care to tell me about it?"  
  
Wufei had always known this day would come. Although he never would have imagined it would occur because of these circumstances.. Well, at least he no longer could work himself so much over it that he would go brain-dead when he saw Duo. Looking away, Wufei said softly, "There was something missing from my life, Duo. The Preventers could not fill my life the way I thought it could."  
  
"Then you came, and I... everything came together. I moved in with you to see if you were ... available. You didn't seem to be responding to my subtle clues... I was too afraid to ask you directly, because I thought you'd refuse me and want me out of your life..."  
  
Duo looked sympathetic, "I'd never do that..."  
  
"I know... but... still .. I was afraid."  
  
Duo sighed. Was he really that hard to approach? Both Heero and Wufei... both hardened soldiers... Maybe that was the problem. None of them really had time to see couples around them, and how they reacted. So much of their lives had revolved around missions, destruction, fighting... they all simply didn't know what to do with these feelings, so they had to try and figure it out for themselves.  
  
Wufei finally found courage to look up into Duo's eyes. They locked and stood like that for a long time.   
  
Wufei began to speak again, "When I saw that bruise.. when I knew that Yuy hurt you... when you brushed it off like nothing... I became so angry. It appaled me that someone would do that to you. It made me angry that there was not going to be a consequence for Yuy."  
  
"You didn't think I could handle it?"  
  
"I... no, I didn't. I wasn't thinking."  
  
Duo looked so sad, so mournful. Wufei got a feeling of dread. Duo suddenly stepped forward a couple of steps and wrapped his arms around him. Wufei did not like the way he could feel tremors underneth the surface of Duo's skin as he held him, "What's wrong?", Wufei whispered. Duo just held onto him for a few moments. But he already knew.  
  
"I... I... I'm sorry Wufei. But.. I just can't... I mean, I don't..." Duo took a deep breath and tried again, "I love you, but not in the way you want!"  
  
To say it did not hurt would be a lie... it was like his heart was slipping into a black hole... slipping was not the word... ripped straight from his chest was what it felt like. As if it did not hurt enough... the fact that it upset Duo so much as well hurt, too. Wufei couldn't find it in him to blame Duo... he couldn't. Which, if he thought about it, he didn't have a right to do anyway.  
  
"It's okay, Duo... I knew this was a possibility... you can't change the way you feel, nor should you try." He tried to comfort Duo even as he began spiralling downwards...   
  
They stood that way, Wufei absorbing the shock.. trying to piece himself together, clinging to Duo, afraid this might be his only chance to hold him like this.. even if he knew there would never be anything more. Duo debated if it would be a good thing if he told Wufei about whom he loved right now... would it just be another knife in the back if he told him here, or would it hurt him more to find out later?   
  
Finally, Duo began to pull away from Wufei. Wufei's arms went limp as they slipped away from Duo and swung lifelessly by his sides. "Want me to move out...? of the apartment, I mean.."  
  
"Not if you don't want to. If you don't want to live with me anymore, I can understand. I can get a new place, no problem."  
  
"That isn't fair, Duo... I'm the one who moved in with you. But, if you don't mind living with me, either, then I don't see a reason for me to leave..."  
  
Duo sighed heavily, "Then I just may give you one.... Wufei, I don't mean to hurt you, but I think it's better if you hear from me instead of somone else... I'm in love with Heero."  
  
Wufei was speechless. What had he done wrong..? Not only to have lost Duo to another man... but to another pilot?   
  
Duo was able to guess partially at his thoughts, although he knew he could not understand completely what he was going through. "It's not your fault Wufei.. it's nothing you did... it's jus--"  
  
"The way you feel. You cannot change it no more than I can change myself loving you." Wufei was quiet. Duo could see the pain in his eyes... maybe he was wrong.. maybe he shouldn't've told.  
  
"I'm so sorry Wufei, I didn't want to hurt you bu--"  
  
"It's okay Duo. I'm glad you told me...." Well., Wufei wasn't exactly sure if he was glad. What was the saying... ignorance is bliss? But it would not have remained a secret forvever... and he would have felt betrayed if someone other than Duo had told him.  
  
"...Do you want me to go?"  
  
"I.... yes... for now, I need some time to think."   
  
Duo nodded and left the room. He made his way into his, and saw with disappointment that Heero had already left. He dragged his way over to his bed and lay down carefully this time so he didn't hurt himself again.  
  
He knew it when he had looked into Wufei's eyes... when he talked to Wufei. It simply wasn't the same... He'd also taken Wufei into his arms to be sure, and he did not feel 'it'. He should have suspected this... all during the time they lived together, he'd never really thought of them together. He simply was not attracted to Wufei. Although Wufei looked attractive, that was where it ended (for Duo). He thought of him simply as a friend.  
  
Duo couldn't quite describe it. He could not explain, even to himself, why it was so. Wufei took everything so hard. Even when he forgave Wufei, Duo could see him trying to fight it in his eyes. He knew by that look that Wufei did not forgive himself.  
  
Also, Wufei had known he was in love for awhile, and he did not tell Duo. He said he knew Duo wouldn't throw him out or hate him for feeling this way.... but he did not seem to believe it. Heero at least had the excuse of not knowing exactly what it was he feeling... Wufei had looked away from him while he sopke about his feelings, Heero had looked in his eyes...  
  
He just thought Heero would be the better choice for him. He hated to hurt Wufei like that... he did care for him deeply... but there wasn't any way out of hurting one of them, was there!?  
  
Duo began to start second guessing his own emotions. He hated this whole situation! Did he do the right thing...?  
  
Duo felt like shit, and knowing he probably felt better then Wufei did right now made him feel worse. He wished there was something he could do for him!  
  
Funny, he'd been so hungry when he'd woken up... now the thought of food made him a little nauseous.  
  
---  
  
Once he was gone, Wufei started to break apart. The pain was incredible, twisting and pulling at him relentlessly. Duo walking out the door so upset drove reality home. Tears started to run down his face, and angrily he brushed them away.  
  
Telling himself now that it wasn't his fault or Duo's fault, that it was justn't ment to be, did no good now. It didn't seem to work without Duo in the room. It was easier to blame him when he wasn't there with those beautiful eyes looking so hurt... It was easier to blame himself when Duo wasn't there to reassure him it wasn't so.  
  
He didn't dare let out the scream welling up inside him. Duo's room was next to his, and hotel walls weren't known for their quality.  
  
He sat down on the bed, crying silently. His tear blurred vision caught the glimmer of silver. Picking up the picture frame he'd ment to give back to Duo... seeing his Shinigami... he did not know if he wanted to break the picture or hold it close to him as he usually did. Deciding he would regret breaking it, he simply put it in the nightstand drawer and slammed it shut. Then he curled up into the fetal position on the bed... Why was he being so weak?  
  
'Fuck strength, fuck justice... fuck everything.'  
  
---  
  
Heero was a little worried. He hadn't seen or heard from Duo in over 12 hours. He'd gone down to the lobby to get something to eat only half an hour ago from one of the restuarants, and he'd run into Trowa, who hadn't seen him either. He knew Duo was very capable of taking care of himself, but he thought something was wrong for Duo to be missing for so long.  
  
Heero knocked on the door to Duo's room. There wasn't a response.. Could it be possible for him to still be over at Wufei's room? ... why so long, then? Or maybe he just didn't feel like answering his door? It did appear that he'd been trying to avoid everyone... did he just need some time alone? He did have a lot to think about. Even so, Heero could not shake Duo needed to talk to someone, even if he did not think it himself. "Duo?"  
  
Heero's voice pentrated through Duo's thoughts. Blinking, he suddenly became aware of the outside world again. The only time he'd gotten up from his position on the bed was to relieve himself, and he had done that mechanically and dazed...  
  
Duo was glad to hear Heero's voice, yet he did not know if he was ready to see Heero... He should be happy when he told Heero, but it was impossible to simply snap out of this depression he had let himself slip into. He didn't know what was going to happen, he did not Wufei to walk out on his life... but he was afraid that might happen. He was afraid Wufei might hate him now for choosing Heero. The more he thought about this whole situation, the farther he let himself fall... he hated this God damned choice!  
  
Heero waited outside for a few moments. There was no answer, no sign or sound that gave a hint that Duo was even in there... With a mental sigh, he turned from the door to look else where.  
  
---  
  
Wufei stayed up half the night wrestling with his feelings. He tried to think things through reasonably, but emotions did not know reason. Slowly, his emotions hurt him less... hours passed, and he knew that this was the best thing, no matter how much he hated it.   
  
It was best to know now, then to be lead on by false pretenses. Duo had never gave any hints he thought of Wufei like that... he had always known this could happen. He did love Duo, and he did not like the thought of him living in misery pretending to love someone he did not.  
  
Then he realized that he didn't want to lose Duo entirely... and that he didn't have to. It might hurt , but he still wanted to be around Duo, to be near Duo. It would hurt more to be without Duo entirely... didn't he fall in love with him because he felt complete around him? Hopefully time would help heal his wound, but before that happened, he had to make sure he still had a friendship with Duo...  
  
By now it was three in the morning (more specificically, 3:07). He did not want to wake Duo, but he knew he couldn't sleep until he spoke with him. Deciding on something to do between now and then, he grabbed his coat and left the room.  
  
---  
  
A knock on his door woke Duo up. It was 10:00am exactly, and he still did not feel like getting up and interacting with anyone or anything. Uncertain thoughts and feelings threatened to decend upon him again, and he pushed himself into a sitting up position with a groan. He couldn't go on like this...  
  
"Duo?" Wufei's voice. Wait a minute--Wufei? Wufei wanted to talk to him? His mind checked the voice for anger, hate, agression... and found it to be clean. Of course, for worry and a touch of sorrow, it was positive. Duo couldn't ignore Wufei after what had just happened, so he rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a thud. He bit his lip as pain shot through his abdomen... he really shouldn't've done that....  
  
"Duo?!"  
  
"Wait--" Duo cleared his throat, his voice having been far to quiet or scratchy for anyone to understand. "Wait a second!"  
  
Duo stood up, but felt lightheaded. It wasn't surprizing, considering he had gotten little sleep and hadn't eaten in over 24 hours. He made his way to the door and opened it.  
  
He felt a twinge of guilt when he saw Wufei's red eyes and his face... it appeared as if he'd been crying. He had dark circles around his eyes, and he looked worn down. At first his expression was unreadable, but now he looked somewhat surprized.  
  
Wufei was surprized, and not pleasantly. Duo looked exhausted, and he also had dark circles around his eyes. By way he stood it appeared like he was using the door for support. His clothes were rumpled and were the same as he'd been wearing yesterday. Light that normally danced in his eyes was dim and still, and his whole face betrayed his melancholy.  
  
"Duo, what's wrong?"  
  
Duo looked away and spoke quietly, "I really didn't want to hurt you Wufei.. and I was afraid that you'd be mad at me... that you'd leave and I wouldn't see you again."  
  
It was a side of Duo Wufei had not seen before. He'd seen him sad, lonely, worried, guilty... but he'd never been so subdued. He never seen Duo this ... this depressed, and all because he might go... Duo was like this, "Because of me?" Wufei said under his breath, to himself.  
  
Appearently Duo heard. Wufei saw him smile weakly, "It's not like I feel nothing for ya." Duo moved out of the doorway slowly, "Wanna come in?"  
  
Wufei walked into the room, and Duo closed the door, walking past Wufei and sat carefully down on a table, and Wufei chose a chair next to him. "I'm not going to leave unless you want me to, Duo. You're too important to me... I came to give you this..." Wufei pulled out from a backpack he'd been holding a silver picture frame. It was simple, having no design around the outside of it, but what it held...   
  
Wufei had to get someone email him half his photo collection so he could get a picture, and then he'd had a hard time finding anything where he was actually looking into the camera (he'd cursed his aversion of pictures a countless number of times during the night). It was a picture from sometime during the war, but it was the only one where Wufei was looking in the direction on the camera nearly laughing. It was the one that closest resembled the one he had of Duo.  
  
The picture had been taken on the Peacemillion. Duo had been trying to get him to smile for the camera all week whenever both had some free time (Duo could be adamant about the strangest things). Wufei had only agreed to let Duo take pictures of him when Duo promised for every picture taken he wouldn't bug Wufei for a solid hour (and back then, Wufei valued it). So, the longer Wufei didn't smile, the more pictures Duo would attempt to take, and the more time Wufei earned unpestered. He'd been quite determined and had reason not to smile (anyway, it was undignified). Duo had tried everything... he'd tried telling jokes while behind the camera, he had Quatre hold the camera while he make faces... Wufei was beginning to wonder when the American would just give up.  
  
Somehow, Duo had managed to convince Heero to take the picture. Duo just sat there, and didn't seem to be planning on doing anything. Then a second before the picture was taken, Duo gave Heero bunny ears. And that was all it took.   
  
For one reason or another, the fact the Duo was giving the perfect soldier bunny ears stuck Wufei as funny for that critical moment as the flash went off. Heero had known something had to have happened for Wufei to grin like that, but when he'd turned around to see what Duo had done, Duo was dancing around, celebrating because he'd finally gotten his precious picture.  
  
Angry that Duo had 'won', Wufei snatched the camera from Heero and took off down the corridor. Duo chased after him, screaming that if he did not give the picture back, all the hours of silence from Duo he'd earned would be void. Never pausing, Wufei made it to his room, locked the door, and put the disc with the photo into a secrect compartment in a carved wooden box he owned, then threw the box into his desk. He heard Duo pounding on the door, and so he opened it just enough to toss the camera at him, then shut it. Then Duo pounded on the door even harder, yelling about how he had gotten that picture fair and square. After an hour, Duo finally got sick of trying to beat the door down or had other things he had to do... which was most likey the case. He left with the words, "I may not have the evidence, but I got you Wufei, and you damn well know it!"  
  
Wufei had ment to destroy the disc, but somehow it survived and made it into his photo collection. He'd nearly forgotten it existed until he rediscovered it last night. This would be the first time Duo got to see his work.  
  
Duo's face lit up, mostly due to the news that Wufei would not be taking off forever. But he also remembered when Heero'd taken this picture. He was sure Wufei had tossed it out the nearest airlock (he'd looked out the windows half expecting to see the disc float by at any moment). He looked up at Wufei in shock, wondering why.  
  
"Remember that picture frame you got me with the two dragons?" Wufei pulled it out just in case, showing it to Duo for the first time since he'd recieved it. "I thought you should have a picture of me happy, too... originally I was going to give this back to you... but I've grown attached.." Wufei looked away, "Sorry 'bout how plain the frame is, but it was the only thing the drugstore had..."  
  
Duo smiled, "Wufei, I wouldn't care if it was made out of cardboard and glue! You're not never talking to me again!" Then his expression grew serious, "Are you going to live with me still? Want me to move out?"  
  
"No, no.. not at all... but why would you want to live with me?"  
  
"It's my home, too."  
  
"But you and Yuy.."  
  
"Sheeh... Wufei, just because I think I love him... just because I'm attracted to him... does not mean I'm going to move in with him tomarrow. We haven't been on a single date yet! Besides, I haven't even told him yet..."  
  
"What?!" Wufei looked at Duo in shock. "Why not..? Why are you still here, why don't you go talk to him?"  
  
Now Duo looked confused, "Why are you trying to push me off on some other man?"  
  
Wufei sighed, and looked Duo straight in the eyes, "Because I love you Duo, and I want to see you happy." Then Wufei glanced away, not wanting Duo to see any jealousy in his eyes, "And if you're happy with Heero..." He looked back up at Duo, "You're going to march into that room of his and tell him."  
  
Duo started to get a little nervous, even though he did not think he had any reason to worry... there were still butterflies in his stomach. "Well, I'd have to get cleaned up first..." Wufei got up to leave, to encourage Duo to do just that.  
  
"Wait a minute, Wufei! Why don't you stick around, and order us some breakfast from room service... 'less you already had some... 'cause I'm starving, and could use the company!"  
  
Duo walked over to the dresser to get some fresh clothing, and he grinned when he saw Wufei pick up the hotel services booklet to look up the number.  
  
---  
  
Heero answered the knock at his door immediately, and found the object of his search... and his desire... standing there looking as cheerful as Duo normaly seemed to be. "Hey Heero!" Heero stepped aside, and Duo walked right in.  
  
Heero noticed that while Duo seemed happy enough, he looked slightly haggard. "Duo?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Never been better, Hee-chan! Got somethin' ta tell ya!" Duo suddenly threw his arms around Heero and squeezed tightly. Heero was confused, but placed his arms around Duo as well. Duo nestled his head against Heero's chest, and that's when Heero realized.  
  
"Hee-chan?" he questioned.  
  
Heero saw the bright violets look up into his eyes, curiousity and anxeity made plain within the shining avatars of Duo's soul, "Do you mind?"  
  
Heero felt his lips start to twitch upwards.  
  
"No... I think I like it."  
  
~~~end  
  
  
  
  
SnK:It's over!!!  
ChibiHwoarang:'Bout time.... *does sweet innocent Chibi eyes* now that it's over and you feel all nice, can I be normal again?  
SnK:ehh... sure *turns him back* truely sorry about the wait everyone *waves at 2 people still reading the story* But it is (I think) the longest part, and I did write rough copies of 2 other endings while I was doing loads of work from my hellhoun--I mean teachers. Sorry if the ending's disappointing as a whole, or disappointing because Wufei did not get Duo..  
Wufei:What is wrong with you, onna?!  
SnK:This version just read better... anyway, it was my original intention for this to be 1x2....  
Wufei:Baka! I don't care! And why am I the only one who cries during the whole series... -twice-?!?  
SnK:Because.. though I loathe the word... you're cute when you cry.  
Wufei:Nani!?!  
SnK:It's true! Wanna see proof? *fishes through harddrive for a screenshot*  
Wufei:NO!  
Hwoarang:*sees the piccy and laughs at 'Fei*  
Wufei*growls* Kisama...  
Hwoarang:*wants to pick a fight now that he's unchibi and can fight* Wanna make somethin' of it, crybaby?  
Wufei:*runs at Hwoarang*  
SnK:*sighs as she watches the two martial artists fight eachother* Well, everyone, thanks for reading. I'd really appreciate a review... really really really appreciate a review. That way I know if I should write anymore GW fics 'n' all (can you believe that Duo-tries-to-get-a-pic-of-Wufei-smiling was an early fic I never posted of mine? icky.).... and since the series is finally over, I can start some of the projects I've thought of during the course of this... *grins evily*  
Wufei+Hwoarang:*pause midfight* Oh shit... *look back at eachother, then snarl and start fighing again*  
SnK:*sighs* Just ignore them, please review.  
  



End file.
